I need a freaking fanfare.

BEDA's over. I can't say I'll miss it much. Maybe one day in September I'll realize how much I miss blogging every day, but not today.

I'm proud of myself. I actually got through with it, though 80% of my posts this month had some sort of BEDA complaining in it.

It's weird how long a month is, isn't it? A lot has happened this month. Some exciting stuff, some not-so-exciting stuff. It just feels like April was a lot longer than it seemed. Maybe BEDA was partially at fault for that. I don't know.

I'll kind of miss being able to blog about absolutely nothing, and still getting credit for a post. You can't do that outside of BEDA. Outside of BEDA, you have to have some structure or point to your post, or else you'll feel you wasted everyone's time. That's how I feel anyway. Maybe I'll actually miss blogging every day.

There's a monstrous fly zooming around my room being obnoxious. Someone get me a swatter.

Bye BEDA. It's been fun. See you next year. Maybe I'll appreciate you once you're gone.

By the way, you guys probably won't hear from me much this month. It's exam month for me, which means it's time for me to study. By study, I mean teach myself everything I was too lazy to learn this year. We'll see how it goes. Wish me luck!

I had an interesting day.

Today was a lovely day. The weather was the best we've had in weeks, so that was automatically a mood-lifter.

Some other sweet things happened today:

• The trees in my backyard are bright pink right now, so I went outside and took a bunch of pictures of them. It was great practice for my photography skills, and seeing all the honeybees swarming the budding pink trees reminded me of how lovely spring is. I really love photography.
• I started The Perks of Being a Wildflower yesterday, and finished it today. I even read it at work while I was supposed to be watching training videos (don't tell my bosses). Awesome book. I think you all would like it. It's very similar to Looking for Alaska.
• Today at work, an old man wearing a "The Who" shirt came through Drive-Thru. I complimented him on his shirt, and the look on his face was the best thing ever. He looked so surprised and amazed by what I said that he gave a big booming laugh. As I took his money, he said "you know who this is?" and pointed to his shirt. I grinned and said "of course". He gave me a huge smile as he drove away. I hope he went home and told his wife about it at the dinner table. I hope I showed him that this generation hasn't forgotten about the previous ones. I wish I knew more cool old people.

Overall, it was a pleasant day. Even work wasn't as annoying as usual. Tomorrow's an exciting day: my mom and dad finally come home from their one and a half month Russia trip, a new Lizzie Bennet Diaries video comes out (ARE THEY EVER GOING TO SHOW US BING AND/OR DARCY?), BEDA FINALLY ENDS, and this other little event is happening tomorrow that shouldn't really be that exciting so I'm not going to explain it. YAY FOR A POSITIVE MONDAY.

I wish I could say I'm planning something huge for the last day of BEDA, but it will probably be a picture of me sleeping or something. Reflection time comes...never.

Things that make me feel really excited and happy.

Sometimes I get this weird feeling. It's like that feeling you get when you're just beginning to go down the biggest hill on a roller coaster, and it becomes such a rush of ecstasy it's almost as if you're flying. I get it when I watch a really good movie, listen to a great song, or finish a life-changing book. It's been happening a lot recently, which feels almost like a miracle after a dreary winter. It's this powerful feeling of an exciting future. It's a satisfaction with life that leads into excitement. I get excited when I remember I have a whole life ahead of me, one full of cities and awesome people and life-changing experiences. I don't know, it's hard to explain. Words are never enough to explain what I feel most of the time. My mind's a never-ending stream-of-consciousness.

Anyway, ignore that weird first paragraph. Here's some stuff that have made me feel awesome recently.

These cities. I'm in love with the fact that I will see them all eventually (2/4 this summer!!!). I'm planning on living in either London or San Francisco when I grow up. Both have vibes I'm craving. You can define a person by the place they want to live. I'm positive these 2 cities fit me, just like NYC fits my close friend moving there. No arguments will convince me otherwise. They fit me for reasons no one would really understand. I still would love to have seen all 4 of these cities.

My favorite book, On the Road (Jack Kerouac). My friends laugh at me a lot about this because I only read it for the first time 3 months ago, but it affected me a lot. I see things differently because of it. There's a movie adaptation coming out in a couple months. If you guys ever have some free time, read the book and maybe see the movie (if it won't be horrible, but I'm betting it will be). :)

Hugo. I don't know why this is on the list, but it is. I saw Hugo in 3D yesterday and I loved it so much. The fact that it was in Paris, and in the early 20th century, and was all about films, and the effects, and just gofgjkgjkg it was so beautiful and heartwarming it left me feeling wonderful for the rest of the night because it reminded me of how important art is in my life.

This song. God, I can't remember the last song that affected me as much as this song has in the past couple of days. I must have listened to it at least 40 times just today, and when I was at work this evening, I was singing it my entire shift. It feels as if he's speaking to me in the chorus, telling me to hang in there and be strong. I don't know, it's just a really comforting song in this confused stage of my life when everything's changing so much.

The movie Midnight in Paris. I relate very much to it, especially with the frustrations of living in a current era. The filming of Paris is stunning, too. PLUS F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway are in it! Paris, historical escapism, and writers?! How could I not like it?

I feel like this list is really superficial. Movies, books, music? When it all comes down to it, they're just material goods marketed for a profit, but I can't look at it that way. To me, they're art. They're life. They're things that show me how wonderful life is, and how great it feels to find that someone else sees things the same way you do. It's frustrating sometimes to not have anyone that quite understands how you view life. This stuff reminds me that there are people like me out there, which is why I'm so excited to get out there and find them.

(This post is kind of embarrassing. I mainly wrote it just because my mind felt it had to. I don't know if anyone relates to it or anything, but it's what preoccupies my thoughts right now. I hope it doesn't make anyone reading it uncomfortable. :( I JUST HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS GUYS OKAY?)

Ma personnalite.

A while ago I took this quiz. It's a psychology quiz that basically splits your personality into 4 different components based on your answers. My psychology teacher recommended it, and I wouldn't recommend it to you if I didn't think it was extremely accurate. It's almost bizarre how accurate it is.

There are a lot of types of personalities (I think there's 15 different ones obtained from the quiz), so it's really interesting to read about all of them and see the little things that make one person different from one another. An obvious argument might be that all humans are unique, so it's ridiculous to consider categorizing them, but I think that when you look closely, you'll see that each person's personality has characteristics that lean toward a particular description. If that wasn't true, I wouldn't have related to my personality description as much as I did.

I took the quiz and got INFP, which stands for Introverted, Intuition, Feeling, Perception. From the INFP Profile I read, it seems really accurate. It's kind of creepy how much they've described me.

"When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet."

^THIS. Seriously, I drive my mom crazy because I can walk by a basket of laundry without even noticing it, and then my mom yells at me for seeing it and not taking it upstairs. At the same time, I hate when my papers are bent or wrinkled or stained.

"INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem."

I honestly hate working in groups because no one ever takes it as seriously as I do, so I end up doing most or all of the work. Last year, my English teacher gave us about 4 group essay writing projects, and I wrote all of them myself because I didn't trust anyone else in my group with my grade.

"Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves."

This is just spot on. It explains my search and career ambitions, and my fear of mediocrity in the future. 

And here's my favorite part:

"INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper."

I wouldn't say I'm awkward at verbal expression, but most of my emotions do come out best when I write them. I oftentimes feel more eloquent when I'm writing about something than when I'm talking about it. I wouldn't say I'm a bad speaker, though.

Honestly, it's kind of refreshing to find something that helps me understand my quirks and traits. I hope that this helped you understand my bizarre self (as if anyone really cares except me haha). You guys should all take the quiz and tell me what you got (or not, if you feel it's private). I think it'd be a great way for us to look and understand each other's mind processes even the slightest bit more. :)

A Vicious, Terrifying Monster

Click 'da pic' to see da' chick.

(I am perfectly aware the above sentence is painfully lame, but I felt it was necessary to rhyme in slang. Next Lil Wayne right here, yo!)

(That second sentence almost rhymed! 'Lame' and 'slang'? Ha!)

(Okay, bye now.)

This is an awful excuse for a blog post. Don't even click on it.

That's it. I told you not to click on it.

FIVE MORE DAYS OF BEDA AND THEN I CAN NEVER WRITE AGAIN.

I almost died. No, really.

I'm still shaky from what happened tonight. I almost got into a serious car accident.

I was driving home from doing some studying at Panera Bread about an hour ago. Panera's on this busy central street, so a lot of the traffic lights are pretty close in distance to each other. Anyway, I saw the light was green ahead, but for some unexplainable reason, I zoned out for just one second. I don't even know what came over me. I swear, I zoned for one second. I think I was going about 50 mph. The next thing I knew, the traffic light was red and there was a car standing at the red light directly ahead of me. I immediately stepped on my brake, but I was so close to the car that I knew there was absolutely no way I would stop without hitting the car (and hit it hard). There wasn't even enough distance for me to brake to a slower speed.

In that moment, I was pretty much coming to terms with the fact that I was going to hit that car really hard, but my instincts suddenly told me to just swerve, and Lord, did I swerve. I swerved to the next lane to my right. Luckily, there was no car in that lane, or I would have had an equally bad accident. I swerved and came to a complete stop right next to the car I almost hit. I braked so hard that everything (including my laptop) in my car flew forward. I honestly don't even know how that swerving worked out. I moved so fast that I swear I should have ended up hitting a telephone pole. Somehow, I ended up perfectly in the right lane.

I've honestly never been more scared in my life than I was at that moment. I started shaking badly and I thought I was going to faint, I was so shocked. I couldn't drive, so I sat in some random church parking lot for 5 minutes, thanking God. I know 100% that I would have at least landed in the hospital if I had hit that car. I don't know how everything turned out fine. I've never had fantastic problem-solving skills, so it was the most shocking thing to just have my instincts completely take control in that moment. It felt like it wasn't even me who swerved. It felt as if my mind took complete control for a second.

I feel this mixture of humiliation and annoyance at myself. I always swore to myself I wouldn't be that idiot that involved others in a huge accident because of my carelessness, and I was exactly that person. At the moment when I should have gotten into that accident, I had a thousand thoughts running through my head, and I hate to admit that my biggest worry was "oh my God, please don't let me wreck this car. My parents are going to kill me!" and, immediately after, "oh my God, please don't let my laptop be broken. My parents are going to kill me!" Guys, I worried more about my useless things than I did my own life! I feel so disgusted with myself.

This post is really jumbled and poorly written, but I'm just too shocked still to think clearly. I don't know what to feel or think right now, but I honestly believe it was God that saved me. Thanks, God.

Randomrandomrandomrandom

I can't blog anymore. I'm just...gjfsoigjkjsvnhkjhjthrt. DIE BEDA DIE. Haha I brought this upon myself.

• Has anyone been watching the Lizzie Bennet Diaries on Youtube? It's a mini web-cam show that's kind of a modern Pride and Prejudice. I honestly love it. It's fantastic, and I can't wait to meet Darcy and Bing Lee (haha, I love that they broke up Bingley's name)
• My chem teacher is flying out to California from NY state just to see Coldplay live. He's the biggest fangirl ever. It's kind of hilarious. I hope I can do something crazy like that someday.
• Still in love with San Francisco. No one takes me seriously anymore because my city of choice changes so much. 
• Note to self: stop telling people your biggest dreams. After a while, they start to think you're ridiculous.
• My friends and I might take a road trip this summer. I don't really know where, but I hope it happens.
• This blog has been really complain-y the past week. Sorry guys. Blame BEDA.
• My friend introduced me to "Sherlock" (the show) today. I love it! It's fantastic.
• I'm so hungry I'm fantasizing about salad. I don't even like salad.
• My mommy comes home from Russia in a week! I'm actually surprised that I didn't miss her as much as I thought I would. It's terrible to admit, but at the same time I'm kind of relieved, because I know now that adjusting to life without parents in college won't be so hard.
• I wrote a blog post earlier, but deleted it. It was stupid.
• It's kind of scary how similar McFly's early music is to the Beatles' early music.
• 7 MORE DAYS OF BEDA AND THAT'S IT.
• I might just go and make cookies right now. It's almost 11 PM.
• On a major Oasis kick right now. Remind me why all good things must come to an end?
• Emma Stone looks spectacular in this picture:

•  Here, help yourself to some more James Franco

Confused Thoughts.

I hate the dreams I have when I'm asleep. It's like they're trolling me. Last night I had a dream I met this boy (who I don't remember ever seeing or meeting in real life) and the next thing I know, he was sitting on my roof at night playing me one of my favorite Oasis' songs on guitar and it was the most magical moment ever and for a moment, it felt real. Then I woke up and I was upset because my dreams are always fantastic and my life isn't nearly as beautiful as my dreams. I should really teach myself lucid dreaming. I'm tired of thinking my dreams are real.

I'm going through this really confused period where I don't know who I am or where I'm going or what I should do. It's hard to explain, but I feel like I'm stuck in the gap between having everything in my life handed to me and having to go out and get it myself. Like I just want someone to tell me who I am and what I'm supposed to be doing, but obviously no one's going to do that.

I feel as if everyone's discovered their "thing". You know, their talent; what makes them special. One of my friends is a brilliant artist, and got into an art program. Several of my other friends are brilliant and are going to major in things like engineering, neuroscience, etc. Another friend is moving to NYC to go to NYU, and watching her getting excited about going to school in Manhattan almost makes me want to go too. All my teachers tell her "oh, you were made to live in the City" and I just sit there, wishing someone could tell me something like that.

I have this one friend that's kind of confused about stuff too. He always texts me, expecting me to make his decisions for him. "Help me pick out which college to go to; help me figure out what to major in; I'm worried about getting a job after college". He expects me to help him figure out all of this stuff, as if I've got it all figured out. People are always expecting me to figure out their problems for them, but it's not like they'd dedicate more than a minute to my problems in return. It's not like I expect it from them anyway.

So many people are good at stuff. They're good at art, or writing, or music, or they're super-intelligent. I'm kind of...blah. I'm good at reading books and thinking about stuff, but you can't make much out of that.

Don't get me wrong, I love life. I adore it. I think it's exciting and beautiful and I can't wait to experience more of it. I just have so many dreams that sometimes they become kind of overwhelming. I want to move to a big city and travel and have a job that I adore and that I'm awesome at. I'll admit that one of my biggest dreams is to work in the UN, and one of my teachers fully believes I can do that, but seriously? The UN? Come on. And then there's people who are always asking me "so what are your future plans" or "where do you see yourself in 10 years" and I tell them "I have no idea whatsoever" and they give me the most worried look. Am I supposed to have figured this all out by now? At this point, all I know is I want to go on a road trip and see San Francisco and go to Europe and maybe seek some enlightenment along the way.

I probably come across as the most angsty and attention-seeking teenager in the world. I just had to get this out somewhere in writing. I definitely didn't write this post for attention, so I hope you won't be too put-off by my arrogance. :\

I'm disgusted and horrified.

Tonight, my sister and I stopped at McDonald's. Afterwards, I was looking up the nutrition facts of the food, and found something on Google that disgusted me.

Apparently, earlier this year, McDonald's stopped their use of what's called "pink slime". For my international blogfriends (by the way, isn't it so cool that I have international friends?! SERIOUSLY!), pink slime is basically composed of inedible cow parts (typically found in cheap dog food) mixed with ammonia, to kill salmonella and e. coli bacteria. Apparently, the ammonia is also a component found in homemade bombs. Just in case you were planning on making some bombs tonight.

Here's what it looks like:

Sorry if this disgusts you. :\

I've known for a few months that pink slime is frequently used in school lunches. That's not much of a surprise, considering the quality of my school's lunches. Schools need food that can be made quickly, cheaply and easily. But fast food places too? Millions of people buy burgers at McDonald's. The fact that they just stopped this year is disgusting. It makes me sick to realize how many burgers I've eaten from McDonald's in my lifetime, and never did I even consider the quality of the components that made up those burgers.

Pink slime is approved the Federal Food and Drug Administration, but the catch is that we have no way of knowing which meat products have it and which don't. It's technically called a manufacturing process, so it isn't included in the ingredients list, and I think it's referred to commonly as "lean meat". McDonald's dropped its use of it because they want to keep up with international meat standards. The United States is the only country in the world that uses it, from what I've read.

I don't even know what to think. I feel like I've been cheated. I feel like it's impossible to eat healthy anymore, with stuff like this. I'm trying to cut back on processed food in general, because I feel like that's a major factor in why people are so unhealthy these days. America has the highest obesity rate in the world for a reason. The fact that even grocery stores sell beef with this stuff in it just makes me wonder what's safe for me to eat and what isn't? Maybe there are no immediate effects, but I believe there are some likely long-term effects on overall health. I've been considering becoming a vegetarian for a long time now, because I believe that it's a healthier way to live. Maybe it's time to make that change?

I don't know, I'm just kind of alarmed. Here's one of the articles I read. It may be somewhat biased, but it helped add on to my understanding (plus there's a video): Source

4/20. No big deal.

So exhausted. BEDA, you're killing me.

Yesterday, someone I know on Facebook posted this status: "Oh 4/20? Is that the same as "I'm so much more of a scumbag than I normally am?"

Sounds like it."

This status started a huge uproar from all the stoners. They started defending pot, saying that it's good for you and that it's a natural plant.

I'm sorry, but so is poison ivy. So are poisonous berries. The fact that it's natural is about as feasible as calling margarine a dairy product.

Although the status is a bit mean, I can understand why he posted it. Not everyone that smokes pot is a scumbag, but in our school, a good deal are. Remember Chad, the neighbor I posted about last week? He's an excellent example of a weed-smoking jerk.

To be honest, the drug never appealed to me at all. It kills motivation. I've had enough experience seeing other kids around me just getting by in school and not do anything because they're high 24/7. The obnoxiousness of the people in my school who do it (though obnoxiousness and smoking pot may not be related) has forever turned me off from it. I look at people when they're high and they're so annoying that I can't imagine ever being the same way. Plus, I don't like anything that might leave permanent negative effects on my brain. I take pride in what intelligence I have, and I don't intend to kill off my brain cells. And what if I become addicted? I know pot isn't addictive or whatever, but the feeling you get from it can get you addicted, and will probably lead to trying "harder" drugs once you stop feeling that high.

Not saying that if you smoke pot, I'm going to dislike you. I've just had a bit of bad experience with the kids I've met who have done so.

 I don't even know what I'm talking about right now...

Prom and frustrations and such.

Some of my friends are getting irritated with me because I've decided I'm not going to prom. I'm positive they think I'm just being a flake, as usual. The reasoning behind my choice not to go is much more complex and I know they'd never understand, so I'm just going to rant about it here.

Guys, I wanted to go to prom. I did, but I realistically knew that there would be no way for me to go from the start. I knew that my mom would refuse to pay for anything because she disapproves of the event (which is another complex explanation in itself, so I'll spare it for your sake). I have a job, so I could have paid for it, if it weren't for Europe.

When my mom and I decided last year that we were going to Europe, my dad said that he would let us go, but that not a single dollar that he or my mother earned would go towards this trip. I agreed, because I was so desperate to go. My mom and I have been saving for over a year, putting together our birthday and Christmas money and even getting a piggy bank to save all the coins we would find. Europe was the main reason why I was looking for a job and still have it, despite hating it a lot. 90% the money I've earned working is going towards this trip.

I realized that prom just couldn't be an option, because I'd spend a minimum of $150 on everything. At this point, I'm still a bit short financially to cover 2 plane tickets and 2 weeks worth of hotels, so that money that I'd spend on prom would be worth much more going towards this trip. $150 can cover at least one night at a hotel and some other minor expenses, which is a lot for me. That one night at a hotel in London would mean 1,000 times more to me than wearing a far-too-expensive dress that I'd probably never wear again, stuck in a place with my annoying senior class. If I wasn't going to Europe, I'd go, but I had to make the choice, and I'm personally satisfied with it.

I know everyone's probably thinking "is it really worth it, though?" Why do all of this for just a short trip to Europe? That's a good question. I honestly can't even begin to explain why I want to go so much. The last time I went to Europe (2010) it changed my life. I know that sounds really cliche and such, but it completely changed my life. I don't really know how exactly it happened, but it was one of those enlightening experiences that leaves you completely different. I'm not going to equate it to what Buddha had, but something along those lines. People don't joke around when they tell you travel changes your life. I 100% believe it does.

So anyway, back to prom. No one understands why I'm choosing Europe, or why I can't just go to both. Everyone I know has their parents paying for most of it. I don't have that option, so obviously that $150 seems like a lot more to me when I have to earn the money to go. I swear, nothing teaches you more about the value of money than having to earn it for something. I just wish my friends wouldn't make me feel so guilty about my choice.

Things I do instead of my homework

• watch Doctor Who on Netflix
• google 'procrastination' in hopes that it's an actual disease, instead of just laziness, so that I'll feel better about myself (it's not)
• start a serial Wikipedia search-start from one topic (like WWII) and end up reading about Venezuelan culture
• go on Sporcle (trivia website)
• go on clothes websites
• refresh Blogger every minute, hoping someone posted something
• browse the iTunes store
• make witty blog post titles, but never use them
• brainstorm blog post ideas
• watch Pixar shorts
• watch videos by vlogbrothers, nerimon, and fiveawesomegirls
• look up lyrics to songs
• go on funniest.1000notes.com
• go on iwastesomuchtime.com (so fitting)
• stare at my Facebook news feed for 10 minutes
• eat
• make tea
• draw mangoes
• google "10 worst US presidents"
• write blog posts
• try to figure out my old Neopets username and fail
• take personality quizzes
• consider skipping school the next day to actually do all the work I put off
• skip school and still not do anything (like today)
• make Spotify playlists and never actually listen to them
• not sleep

About 90% of these things I did today. Guys, I need a life. Someone find one for me.

Oh by the way, today's my one year blog anniversary! Yay! (Not that excited, honestly.)

Words.

I like words. Of course that's obvious, considering I write a blog, but when I say I like words, I mean...I like words. This isn't working. I'm going to go on.

There are certain words that I love saying or hearing. It isn't necessarily the definition of the word as much as it's the aesthetics of the word. I don't know why, but I have a list of words I love, and words I hate. The words I love are pretty random, whereas you can probably detect a trend in the words I hate.

Some words I love:

• flatulent
• voracious
• dollop
• gobbledygook (I actually spelled this one right on the first try!)
• kerfuffle
• mustache
• hogwash
• behoove
• flounder
• canoodle

Words I hate:

• goop
• moist
• phlegm
• slaughter
• zygote
• ovum
• mayonnaise
• logorrhea (my teacher loves using this word; he thinks it's hilarious)
• bodacious
• cramp
• buff
• meat (don't ask about this one, it's just a word I despise and never use)

If you haven't noticed, the words I hate are mostly influenced by their definitions, whereas the words I love are mostly just because they sound hilarious or awesome.

What are some of your favorite/least favorite words?

Ugh, this BEDA post is lame. Blargharg.

Hilarious.

Today, I found two pictures that were so hilarious, they kept me laughing for minutes. Perfect timing too, because today was my first day back at school after a week off for spring break. Ugh.

Click on the picture to read the words

I don't know why I found the second one so hilarious, but I did.

That's all for today, guys. Sorry, I have an English essay to write, so all creative energies are being conserved for that, and it still probably won't be enough. I miss last year, when English essays were so easy to write, and I was always so proud of them. What happened? Anyway, wish me luck!

My nieces.

Today, I decided to blog about my nieces. Seeing as they're such a huge part of my life, it's time you guys got to know the fam'. We're taking the next step in our relationship, aren't we?

This is Alina. She's 3 years old and I love her to bits. I can absolutely guarantee that I'm her favorite aunt, because no one plays with her as much as I do. She's fiercely independent and hilarious. She's also the biggest troublemaker I've ever seen. I've been chasing her around since she learned to crawl. A couple of days ago my sister-in-law told us on Facebook that while she was changing Emma (my younger niece), Alina got baby powder all over her cell phone. This, of course, is not a major issue, but Alina decided it was necessary to go and wash the phone. She comes back and says "Look, Mama, all clean!" This all happened in a matter of 60 seconds. Now my sister's left without a phone. Hahahaha.

She's really girly too. She walks around in her mom's heels and loves dressing up as a princess. I've used this as an excuse to show her every single Disney Princess movie whenever she's at our house. It's fun showing her Disney movies, because it gives me an excuse to watch them too (and force my mom to buy different Disney DVDs for "the child's sake"). Right now her favorite movie is Tarzan. :D

This is Emma. She's turning 1 in 2 days. :) She's honestly the sweetest little baby ever. She's always cheerful and I don't think I've ever seen a child smile as much as she does (not that I have much experience with other children). I have a lot of babbling conversations with her, because she's just learning to make funny noises, and she gets excited when I make funny noises back at her. She learned to crawl in one week, and within the second week, she was already walking! Haha, whenever she comes over, we have to seal off every possible staircase and open area, because if you take your eyes off of her for one second, she'll be halfway up the stairs. She also loves pressing the keys on my piano, so I'm hoping someday I'll be able to teach her piano. She's such a sweet and adorable little child, and I love seeing her grow. I can't wait for her toddler years.

The two kids on Christmas

A really old picture of me with a 6-month old Alina (probably the only picture of me with either of them, ever)

I hope this post wasn't too sappy haha. I just figured, since they're so important to me, it might be nice to do a post about them. Plus, it gets me another post during BEDA. :)

I. Can't. Blog. Anymore. (with One Direction)

BEDA, if you were a human being, I might consider murdering you. In order to prevent that from happening, I encourage you to run away quickly. Run away and never come back.

I know I could probably quit. It would be so much easier to quit, but I have this thing where I have to finish what I've started, no matter how much it annoys me.

I might as well tell you: as of yesterday, I don't mind One Direction. I blame all of you for this. Yes, I am blaming you! I do not like pop boy-bands, but yesterday, after hearing all about this One Direction obsession, I decided it was finally time to see what the hype was all about. I watched the What Makes You Beautiful video and they are so cute! Honestly, most of the band is about my age, but they're all so adorable it's almost enough to make you go "awwww". I don't like their hairstyles, though. Way too overdone. No guy I've ever seen has hair like those guys. It looks unnatural and weird and, frankly, I'm sure they'd look much better with slightly styled, more natural hair. Just a thought.

I do love that adorable blond guy though. I typed in "One Direction blond" and found out his name is Niall, he is 18, and he is from Ireland. He kind of seems like the Ringo Starr of the group, as in the kind of goofy, not always center-of-attention member.

Far left

This isn't normal for me. I don't do boy-bands, but why can't I stop listening to "What Makes You Beautiful"? It's bizarre. I listened to one other song (the name of which has escaped me) and I don't like it much, so maybe it's the sweet, cheerful music of "What Makes You Beautiful" that captivates me. I don't know. I still don't like boy-bands (or boy-groups, since they don't actually play instruments in their performances?), but at least I can tolerate this group now.

Nevertheless, I'm going to copy Ash and end with an Oasis song for good measure.

Coachella and cities and rants and blah.

For God's sake, why does the United States have to be so big? Even more, why are all the best music festivals so far away from this little place in the middle of NY state? I'm basically far away from everything: New York City is a 5 hour drive away, Toronto is across the border (which is kind of a hassle to cross because there's a curfew for drivers under 18 in NY state, and I obviously wouldn't stay overnight), and those are pretty much the only two feasible options for my area.

You know, people who live in big cities don't realize how lucky they are sometimes. Places like NYC and London are full of culture and opportunity. You can pretty much see any band/artist you want live. Your only worry is getting the tickets fast enough before they're sold out. Better yet, the job opportunities are so much greater than in little towns, and the opportunities in general are so much more numerous in big cities, because pretty much every industry is centered in major cities.

There also seems to be a better vibe in big cities. More people are open-minded. To be honest, it's getting really tiring hearing all the kids around here bash anything that seems to be different. I know this is pretty generalized, but the teenagers in my town are ignorant, boring and obnoxious. They think everyone's interests and lifestyle should be just like their own, and I'm tired of intolerance. Why can't people learn to be tolerant of other people's lifestyles? I know no place is perfect with this, but in big cities, there are many different kinds of people, and I'm tired of acting ashamed to be a bit different than everyone else in my town that try to all act the same.

Back to Coachella: I'm so sad that I can't be there right now. Almost all of my favorite bands are performing there this weekend. Before I was hoping that maybe there'd be some luck with Lollapalooza, which is a music festival in Chicago that's kind of the second best festival in the country, but the line-up there this year isn't nearly is good as last year's Lolla, nor does it compare to Coachella's, so it's not worth going to.

(Aside that you can all ignore: SERIOUSLY LOLLA? Coachella can book Noel Gallagher, but you can't?! Get some sense! That would be my deal-breaker!)

I'm probably blaming too much of my frustrations on the place I live. I'm just so anxious to finally reach that age when I can go wherever I want and experience some amazing things outside of my town. I can't wait to meet more people with similar interests and see great places and finally see at least one of my favorite bands live. I've been dreaming about it for years, and when I get out of this town, hopefully that will happen.

A rant against immaturity.

Yes, I know what you're thinking: "another rant? Is that all she does? For God's sake, someone shut this woman up!" Sorry, guys, this rant cannot be avoided.

Something happened this afternoon. Something that really made me angry. I was helping my grandma garden, and our garden faces my neighbors house. Now you should know some background info on my neighbors: they moved here when I was in 5th grade, and their son Chad is about half a year younger than me (I doubt he'll ever find this, but I secretly hope maybe someday he does). I'll be blunt: this kid Chad is the biggest douchebag I've ever met. He hasn't matured a single bit since he first moved here. When he was a kid, he was interested in guns and cars. Now he's interested in drugs and scummy girls. That's mean, I know, but it's true.

When I was younger, we were kind of friends, but it would be this tense thing where one day we'd be friends; the next, we'd hate each other. I outgrew my hatred for him a long time ago (like 8th grade). It doesn't seem that he's done the same thing. The kid still hates us, for some reason. I don't think it's for any reason other than the fact that he's a huge jerk. His parents never taught him to be respectful, apparently, because he's rude to everyone, and he'll throw his trash out on our lawn and his family will blow all their leaves on our lawn. We don't know why, but that's just the kind of neighbor he is.

Remember how I also said that he's interested in drugs? That's basically a nice way of saying he's a pothead. He also has this thing where he thinks he's a gangster. It's kind of funny how he'll wear his gangster hat and enormously baggy jeans and think he's the coolest kid to ever walk the land.

Anyway, back to today. So I was helping my grandma and Chad and his stupid friends are just driving up and down the street super fast, trying to show off. They finally pulled into his driveway and watched as I was helping my grandma, and they were making fun of me and shouting "WOOOOO" at me. I ignored them, but as they drove past my house and shouted "WOOOOO" again, I stuck my finger up at them. I don't know if they saw it, but I thought hopefully they did and would leave me alone. But they didn't. They drove by again and beeped at me. Finally, as they drove away for the last time, they beeped and shouted "WOOOOO" and as I looked up they opened their window and stuck their finger back at me.

Guys, I don't understand. What did I do to get all that? I haven't talked to Chad for several years, so I don't understand why he and his friends were bothering us. He's almost 17. Isn't it time to mature? I may have stuck my finger up at him, but he and his friends started all that crap first.

To be honest, I regret how I handled that situation. I should have ignored him from the start. How did I handle that situation any more maturely than he did by showing him my finger? That's such an immature thing to do, but I guess I was just annoyed. I just don't understand why they thought bothering us was necessary after we did nothing to him. He's not 12 anymore. Why can't he just grow up? Why can't people like him just grow up, in general?

An explanation of my love for WWII.

Caution: I'm seriously going to nerd it out in this post. Brace yourselves. You have been warned.

Obviously I don't love WWII as a war. I think it's the most awful war in history. It's the war to end all wars. There was nothing like it and I pray there never will be.

But I still think it's the most complex and intriguing period in history. I adore learning about it. I've read countless books about it. I've done endless online research on it. Since I was a kid, it's been something that's fascinated me. WWII was full of brilliant leaders, unbelievable atrocities and unexplainable occurrences.

One of the most curious parts about WWII involves Adolf Hitler. How did it happen? How could one man do so much? One man who grew up as a nobody and wanted to go to art school and perhaps was just a little bit crazy. How did he grow up to be one of the most powerful men in the world, further pursuing what the great Napoleon aimed and failed to do a century before (building a great European empire)? How did he convince millions of Germans that what he was doing was right, yet rise a despairing nation into one of nationalism and pride? How did he kill millions of Jews with no one stopping him? It's almost unbelievable that so much power could fall into the hands of one person in a not-so-long-ago time.

WWII had the most interesting leaders. Benito Mussolini and Hitler were both fascists, a political ideology that had never really existed before, and Franklin D. Roosevelt and Winston Churchill are probably the most inspirational leaders in modern history (in my opinion). But how did FDR and Churchill agree to ally with Josef Stalin, a communist that was their political polar opposite? I don't know if that's happened before in history, but to me, that seems like something really special, given the further Cold War conflict that followed the war.

The American homefront is really interesting to learn about, too. I love learning about how the women took all the jobs the men had before they went off to war. I've seen videos of women working in ammunition factories and other dangerous, laborious jobs; jobs that obviously were not obtainable to them in that time period otherwise. Honestly, I don't hear much of women working in these positions even today, though I'm not sure if that's because they don't want to or because they're not allowed to. It's impossible to imagine the difficulties they went through, worrying about the lives of their husbands, boyfriends, sons, brothers, but nonetheless I think WWII really showcased a powerful symbol of feminism in a male-dominated society.

This is pretty much irrelevant, but the WWII cultural period is so interesting to learn about. I love listening to music from the 40s and seeing how war influenced the lyrics of the music, but also the optimism the performers had as they tried to focus on things outside of the horrible war. I just love seeing that even though it was a "total war" (an all-consuming war that involved everyone, both the soldiers and those on the home-front), people still tried to be optimistic. I don't know, that just seems like a really powerful symbol of hope and perseverance to me. Plus, a lot of my favorite movies were made during the WWII era.

Of course, there were so many awful things about this war: the atomic bomb, the Holocaust, the Japanese invasion of China (including the "Rape of Nanking," where Japanese soldiers basically slaughtered all the men, women and children they could see, and raped the women too), the millions of soldiers and civilians that died, and so much more. War is awful, but I think that it's so important to study it. I know that this post probably seems to romanticize war, and I know that I could never possibly understand what the people who lived through it went through, but I want to try. I want the people who lived and died through WWII to know they aren't forgotten, and the only way I can really do that is to learn as much as I can about it.

(Guys I really hope you don't think of me negatively because I love learning about WWII. Maybe it seems like I like war because I like learning about it. Please don't think that's the case!)

A Harry Potter Survey

I stole this survey from Hazel without asking for her permission! :O Sorry Hazel, I hope it's alright!

 

Q1 Your favourite of the seven books

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Q2 Your favourite of the eight movies

Um...Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I

Q3 Which (if any) of the films have made you angry becaues they ignored important parts of the book?

Ugh, the last one. Hate me all you want, but I pretty much hated the last film because it ignored every major part that I loved about the book. Fred's death? Barely shown. Reunion with Percy? Nope. Dumbledore's past? Do you see a trend?!

Q4 Your least favourite female character and why

Dolores Umbridge. God she made me mad.

Q5 Your favourite male character and why

Fred Weasley lol. I know it's really weird to have a supporting character as a favorite, but I loved that guy way too much. Ron Weasley is second, though.

 

Q6 Which house would you want to be in and what house do you think you'd get?

I'd love Ravenclaw, but according to that stupid Pottermore sorting quiz, I got Hufflepuff. *pouts*

Q7 Your favourite female character and why

Hermione, of course! But Luna comes in close second.

Q8 What do you think would be your favourite subject at Hogwarts?

Defense against the Dark Arts, no doubt.

Q9 Your least favourite male character and why

Cornelius Fudge. The nerve of him!

Q10 Pink one - Hallows or Horcruxes

Hallows

Q11 The character you relate to the most

Honestly, Ron. Haha.

Q12 Your favourite pairing

Hermione and Ron!

Q13 Your least favourite of the eight movies

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II.

Q14 Pick one - Team Harry or Team Voldemort

Harry

Q15 Who would be your best friends at Hogwarts?

Fred and George Weasley, followed by Luna and the trio! (I've planned this all out of course.)

Q16 Your favourite professor

Professor McGonagall

Q17 Your least favourite of the seven books

Are you serious? Of course I love them all!

Q18 Do you prefer the books or the films?

The books.

Q19 If you could meet one member of the cast, who would it be?

Emma Watson. I really love her.

Q20 If you could bring one of the characters back to life, who would you choose?

Fred. You cannot kill off one twin! (Is that selfish of me to choose him over Sirius or Dumbledore?)

Q21 Pick one - Harry Potter or Twilight

Harry Potter

Q22 Any parts of the books/films that made you cry?

Books: Fred's death and the ending of the final book.

Films: Snape's death and memories.

Q23 Any particular scene you wish was in one of the films but wasn't?

Fred's actual death scene.

Q24 Are you happy with the epilogue?

Meh.

Q25 If you were able to use one spell without a wand, what would it be?

Expecto Patronum

Q26 Would you rather own the Invisibility Clock, the Resurrection Stone or the Elder Wand?

Invisibility

Q27 Do you listen to Wizard Rock?

Occasionally.

 

Q28 Did you enjoy, "A Very Potter Musical"?

Never seen it. I really should get around to watching it.

Q29 What animal would your Patronus be?

I always imagined a parrot. How lame is that?

Q30 Describe what Harry Potter means to you

Words aren't enough, honestly. It's something very dear to me. It's that one fandom that I can't think about much, because if I do I get all obsessed and it makes me sad that it's over, so I try not to read the books or watch the movies much right now. I know it's weird, but it's just so all-consuming when I get into it that I can't stand it because it makes me sad that I'm not a part of Hogwarts or the Wizarding World. It's weird and hard to explain.

PS: This is so weird I don't think I've ever posted twice in the same day. :D

Disney World

Note: Have you guys ever had any problem posting on Blogger? Last night I wanted to post this post, but it wouldn't let me. Like I wrote it last night, and when I tried to post it, it said "your blog post has been posted," but when I tried to look at it by viewing my blog, it wouldn't work! I really need to switch to the new Blogger interface, don't I? Too bad that I hate it.

So, technically, I didn't fail BEDA, right? Right?! I'm really hoping this works right now, after just switching to the new interface. Ugh, Blogger, you're killing me!

One place that I've been constantly fantasizing about is Disney World. I've been there about 5 different times: when I was in 5th grade, in 6th grade, in 7th grade, in 8th grade, and the summer of 2011 (I have this weird thing where I remember everything based on what grade I was in). Last year, I worried that when I got to Disney World again, it wouldn't be as special as it was when I was a kid.

That was not the case at all. I loved it as much as I did when I was a kid. Of course, it probably would have been awkward if I had actually chosen to stand in line to meet Mickey Mouse, autograph book and pen in hand and Mom holding the camera, waiting to take pictures. That's one thing I really miss about going to Disney World as a child.

In The Fault in our Stars, Augustus Waters protested when he found out that Hazel spent her cancer Wish visiting Disney World. He bashed Disney World for a bit, which I really didn't like. While Disney World is something like manufactured happiness, it's something more than that. It's happiness in the same way we buy books, so we can escape from the realities of life and be someone a bit different for a little while. Disney lets us be a kid for a day (or two, or a week).

It means more to me as I'm growing up than it did when I was a kid. I think of every memory I've made there, and how my favorite memories from Disney aren't the rides I went on (though those were fantastic), but just the fact that I was there. I remember hiding in gift shops, trying to buy a poncho because it was pouring outside, or sitting in some cafe with a singing robot in the middle of Tomorrowland, trying to cool down in the awful August heat while eating a burger. There's a vibe to Disney World that you can't avoid. It's this infectious happiness that captures everyone.

Tomorrowland's always the place we go first in Magic Kingdom. :)

I've always told my mom that when (if?) I get married, I want my honeymoon to be at Disney World. Guys, I know that's really really lame, but it was true when I was 10 and it's true now. Whenever we go on vacation to Florida, we only spend a day or two at Disney World, which is never really enough for me. I know my mom would never be willing to spend an entire week at Disney World, because she gets tired, and my sister doesn't love it nearly as much as I do. I look at all the people I know that spend their honeymoons relaxing on some Caribbean island, and I just can't imagine myself doing that for a week (or more). I'd go insane with boredom.

I don't know why it means so much to me, but it does. All 4 parks hold something special for me, and no one I know shares that feeling. I don't know the next time I'll go back there, but I really hope it's soon.

Pretension

Happy Easter! I hope it is/was a great and happy one! (I was going to post this earlier but I was at an Easter family party.)

Here's a picture of a cute Easter bunny.

NO WAIT THAT'S A HAMSTER WITH FAKE EASTER BUNNY EARS!...Oh well, still cute.

Moving on...


One thing that's always puzzled me about people is pretension. I've met several people in my life that I believe are pretentious, and I'm sure that with me going to college next year, I'm guaranteed to meet many more.

To be honest, I think that word is overused and misinterpreted. A pretentious person is generally someone who acts like they are much more important, intelligent, or overall better than someone else, even though they aren't. Basically, a phony. These days, with growing hipster culture and an increasing emphasis on appearing intellectual, people throw around the word to describe pretty much anyone who appears to be reasonably well-read on a particular subject that may not be commonly known. (I hope that last sentence didn't sound pretentious.)

For example, I have been called pretentious before because of my interests. I read books that maybe not everyone around me would find interesting. I love classics, and you'll frequently see me carrying my latest read around with me in school. But never have I decided that because my book choices are better than those of someone else, I'm better as a person. Frankly, I'm excited when I see people carrying around books, because I love seeing other people as passionate about reading as I am. Apparently, someone I know thought that I was pretentious because I was reading Catcher in the Rye in school. That really hurt, honestly. I don't think it's fair to be judged based on the books you choose to read.

It's one thing to think I'm a bit weird because of what books I choose to read or what movies I choose to watch, but to essentially label me as a phony snob because I'm reading a book I strongly identify with is very hurtful. I'm passionate about many things, and I can respect anyone else that is equally as passionate about certain things.

Of course, I can occasionally slip up on my judgement-free thoughts, but I am trying very hard to learn to respect that my views on culture and stuff are different from many people, and that these differences should never make me think of myself as better than someone else.

I really hope this post doesn't sound fake. Did I make any sense?

BEDA Day...uh...what day is it?

My fingers are 10 different colors from coloring eggs tonight, which is why I'm posting at 11:45 PM with only 15 minutes to spare. Pretty much like yesterday, except yesterday I had an idea of what to blog about, but today I can't think of anything.

My fish died tonight. I went out and came home to find my poor little fish at the bottom of his fishbowl, his gills inflated like balloons. I asked my grandma, and she said that when she was refilling his bowl, apparently she accidentally spilled a cup of cold water right over his head. I'm not mad at her though, because she sounded more devastated than I am.

This is what he looked like. I just realized I never named him.

While we're on the subject of pets, I'll sadly admit that I haven't had a dog since I was 7. We had a cute little border collie puppy before that, but he was a breeding dog by nature, and the neighbors complained of his barking, so we had to give him away. :( I was pretty devastated. After that, my dad refused to ever get a dog again. I guess he doesn't like the idea of a dog living in the house, and we don't like the idea of a dog always living outside, so we never got a dog again. I've always wished we had a dog, because I love how friendly and fun dogs are. We've had several cats, but I'll admit that cats are kind of boring. I love them nonetheless, but I've always wanted a pet I could be friends with.

(Can you tell I have no life?)

The past few years, I've had a growing appreciation for birds. Parrots, in particular. I've begged my mom for one, but she's never gotten me one. I finally went to the pet store and found a parrot I adored. He was so cute and colorful and he playfully bit my finger like a friendly little parrot. BUT (because there's always a but) he was $600, so I couldn't afford buying him myself. $600!!! Gosh.

He kind of looked like this, but more colorful.

I vow that when I do get a parrot (and I will), I will name him Rupert. This has been established for several years. (No life, remember.)

NO THAT IS NOT IN HONOR OF RUPERT GRINT. IT ISN'T, REALLY!

...
...
...
... :)

Incoherent Thoughts.

Midnight in ten minutes. Time to turn on turbo blogging mode.

Today, I did a bunch of fun things. I went to the mall with my sister, we ate out and (even though I hate shopping), I had fun, though that was probably because we were in the bookstore for two hours.

I can't even explain how relieved I am that I'm not working tomorrow morning. First Saturday of this year I'm not working. Anyways.

Finally getting some relaxation today and enjoying myself has taught me a few things.

I love people. I know I'm always saying "I hate people. People are so stupid," but I honestly love going places and seeing all these interesting people who have families and friends they adore and things they love to do and places they love to go. I love sitting in a chair in a bookstore and watching all the different people, wondering what they're going to buy and what kind of things they love to read.

Even though it's sometimes overwhelming, I love to think about my future. I love to wonder where I'll be in 5 years after I (hopefully) finish college. Maybe I'll be in graduate school, or maybe I'll fulfill my goal of going to a city of my dreams. Maybe I'll be out of the country in London, maybe I'll be in San Francisco, or maybe I'll be in New York City. I love the idea of me working in a job I love, excited to finally get started in a new career.

I love to watch planes flying in the night sky, feeling both excited and jealous of their journeys. Where are they going? What will they be doing? Are they going to see their loved ones? Are they going to travel the world? Will their trip change their life, like my trip to Europe changed mine?

I love figuring out my camera and starting to take pictures with it. I love holding something, knowing that it's entirely mine because I worked hard to earn it. I love knowing that I can finally do something I've been dreaming about for years.

I love imagining that one day (hopefully) I'll find someone as amazing as Augustus Waters (The Fault in Our Stars) that will trade books and listen to music with me and will always travel with me and will be the most fun person in the world to talk to. I love imagining that he'll be able to keep up with me and my constant obsessions and rash decisions and need to see everything and do everything, because I can't ever deny the adventure of life.

I love that even though life is difficult sometimes, it's completely possible to find the courage to love everything and remember the joys and excitements of life.

And, I love James Franco.

Ugh.

Ugh. Just ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.

That's probably not a word, but for the record, it's still lost it's meaning to me.

I use 'ugh' in every possible situation that annoys me. Tonight is an 'ugh' night.

I'm going to complain in this post. It's going to be heavy in self-pity, so please bear with me, or choose the more logical option and ignore me. :)

Anyway, I'm exhausted. This week has probably been one of the busiest I've had in ages. I honestly can't think of a single moment where I had some "me-time" or even just a reasonable amount of time for a bit of relaxation. Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm always babysitting, because my sister-in-law goes to college on those days from 3-9, so those days are basically always booked. It was especially bad this week because my mom and dad are gone, so taking care of the two kids is pretty much left to me, my sister, and my grandma.

(Oh yeah, I probably should have told you that my mom and dad left for Russia for a month and a half trip. They've been gone about 3 weeks.)

I had a ton of stuff to do throughout the week, mostly errands and catching up on 20 different homework assignments. This stuff takes time, and I just couldn't find any at all this week. Monday I was working, Tuesday I was babysitting, yesterday I was running errands for my grandma for several hours (though I did somehow obtain some time to get my camera!) and today I was babysitting again. All week I've just been rushing from one thing to another, knowing that there are more important things I should be doing. I'm one of those people that likes to prioritize, and when I don't get my affairs in order, I tend to get really confused and annoyed.

Next week, however, is spring break. Yay! Today was my last day at school, and I was eagerly waiting for 9 PM when my sister-in-law would pick up the kids, because then my break would officially begin (she's off next week too and they're going to Florida). Turns out, that's not the case. Good ol' sis surprises us with the fact that she's bringing the kids tomorrow morning because she has some errands to run. She didn't even ask. She just went ahead and made her own plans. That basically means I'll have to get up early tomorrow and babysit.

Guys, it's going to seem really pathetic, but this babysitting thing is tough. If we're going to be honest, I'm not the most patient person with kids. My younger niece is almost a year old, so she screams and cries a lot. She has to be given attention 24/7, so I'm usually stuck chasing her so she doesn't hurt herself or something. That makes it impossible to do homework, and impossible to ever consider sleeping or relaxing or studying or anything that requires a reasonable amount of quiet.

And sleeping. I was really looking forward to finally getting a good night's sleep. I'm not exaggerating when I say I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in about a month. It's gotten to the point where anytime I'm on my bed, even if just for a minute, I fall asleep. I know it's unhealthy, but I get no more than 4 hours of sleep a night on average. I used to rely on the weekends to catch up on sleep, but with my stupid job, I'm always up at 5:30 AM because weekend mornings are pretty much the only time I'm ever given work hours.

You're probably thinking in your heads "if she's so tired, why doesn't she just shut up and go to bed?" Good question, fellow bloggers. The answer is simple: I like BEDA. It's weird and hard, but I like this little blogging festivity.

I should really stop with my rants or everyone's going to get annoyed with me.

Ka-Pow!

Guys, I'm sorry. I'm completely uninspired today. I'm drowning in end-of-the-quarter-shit-I-have-to-make-up-20-assignments mode. I'm so uninspired, I wrote an awful little poem to show you all that I might be going insane. Or not.

Yesterday I met a creature named Flounder
Except he was a whale
It puzzled me
So I swam away

Yeah. It's been a weird night.

Tomorrow, I have to hand in forms documenting 150 hours of creative, physical, and community service activities. Each activity can be worth no more than 10 hours, plus some activities that I did for less than 10 hours, so doing the proper math makes it about 10,000 forms I have to fill out. I also need signatures showing that I actually participated in these activities. I'll let you guys in on a little secret, though:


I'm forging some of the signatures.

No no no no, please don't judge! It's just that I was lazy when I actually did those activities and didn't feel like bringing the forms to be signed, and it's a bit awkward asking some adult to sign a form after you did an activity for them a year ago. It probably doesn't matter anyway, because I'm so terrible at forging these signatures that I wouldn't be surprised if I was caught. I'm a bad, bad person. But these are stupid, pointless forms that mean nothing anyway. It's not like I'd ever forge a signature on a check or legal document or something, I swear.

By the way, I got my camera today. I don't know how to use it. It's kind of funny how confusing it is. I think I'm going to name it something cool. Something French. Something like...Lombard. Yeah.

Anyone remember Pleakley from Lilo & Stitch? I don't know why, but I thought of him. He was a weird old alien.

Also, I'm thinking about doing a vlog. Is it a good idea? I don't know. I don't know any video editing, so it'd probably just be me sitting and staring at the webcam for a good 5 minutes and maybe cracking a lame joke or two.

Snow White?

Guys, this is weird. I AM NOT USED TO BLOGGING EVERY DAY.

Okay, so it's been a while since I've seen Snow White. At one point it was my favorite Disney film, but I haven't watched it in its entirety in years. This evening I decided to watch it.

I really need to stop watching so many movies.

Anyway, I'm usually not one to analyze Disney films, because while I'm aware that many of them have underlying messages that I may not agree with, I'm a firm believer that Disney movies must be watched with a child-like perspective. Trying to make sense of the film beyond the story and understanding its more mature elements takes away most of the magic of a Disney film, and I'd like to keep whatever is left of my childish ignorance.

Nonetheless, I'm going to contradict my beliefs in this post. I've compiled a list of observations and questions that I came upon while watching:

-The Dwarfs' noses are extremely red, especially Grumpy's. Why is that so? I've always been told a scarlet nose is the sign of an alcoholic. I'm hoping that's not the case.

Best representation I could find

 

-Of all the Dwarfs, Happy is by far the fattest. I'm betting it's a social commentary. My guess is that it has something to do with fat cats? Pampered, hence fattest, hence happiest? Probably not. I don't know.

-When the Dwarfs are leaving the mine for the first time, Dopey locks the door to the vault with a key, and hangs the key right next to the door. I tried to think of some logical explanation for this, but there is none. When is that ever okay? These are diamonds we're talking about! There's no point in locking it if you're going to keep the key right next to the locked door.

-I don't like what they did with Dopey. I think he's supposed to be some comic representation of someone with mental retardation. I'm obviously over-interpreting it, but that's the vibe I got.

-The ending of the film was way too fast. Prince Charming came, kissed Snow White, woke her up, and they strolled away on a horse within a couple of minutes. Come on Disney, that ending was shorter than Mockingjay's!

-What happened to the huntsman? Did he end up okay? I'm hoping, because I liked him.

-If those animals in the woods were really Snow White's friends, they wouldn't have abandoned her when the Dwarfs came home. The least they could have done was wake her up.

-The turtle was, by far, my favorite character. He was adorable and kind-hearted and patient and he just made my heart melt. No one ever pays attention to him, though.

Remember the turtle, guys. REMEMBER THE TURTLE.

That's all for today, folks. Have a great night, and Hank, I will see you Monday.

...

...

...I wish.

The Fritz and Toes.

I honestly have no idea where that title came from. I was thinking about how much my toe hurts, and I suddenly thought of how much I love when people say "[insert noun here] is on the fritz". For example: my computer is on the fritz. Your phone is on the fritz. His brain is on the fritz.

Then I looked up fritz on Urban Dictionary, just because there definitions of words are always fascinating. Here's one definition I found: "Now used to describe a person or persons falsely imprisoning and raping family members, similar to being 'on the rob'."

This, my friends, is why Urban Dictionary is not a reliable source. Excuse me for a second while I...haahahahahaha. I have never heard 'fritz' used in that context. Or heard of such actions, for that matter. Bahahahaa.

To make this post relevant to my title, I also must discuss toes. I just got home from work, so my toe hurts. You see, my right foot is bigger than my left by an entire size, so that sets me up for some enormous discomfort. I always face the situation of buying shoes closer in size to my left foot, which sets me up for cramping and tightness in my right foot, or buying a larger size to satisfy my right foot, which results in me waddling like a duck because my left foot is too small for my shoe. This sets me up for a dilemma. I obviously can't buy a pair of shoes with each a different size, because that just...doesn't work. Can you imagine how hilarious (and annoying) it would be, for someone else to buy a pair of shoes only to find out one is in a size 8 while the other is a size 9?

Actually, that'd just be annoying.

Hey, I just rambled about two completely petty topics! Bonus points for me! I'm acing this BEDA thing, man. Maybe now I should just go into a deep discussion about the meaning of life.

(It's 42, by the way. Gold star if you get the reference.)

A lot happened at work today. I have a boss that would fit perfectly in the "Horrible Bosses" movie. Her attitude is entirely dependent on her mood, and I've grown almost used to the fact that she has to yell at someone on a daily basis for no reason at all. Almost. She particularly doesn't like me, for some reason. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm more quiet when I work, and occasionally I make petty mistakes because I'm human. Today, it got really busy and my co-worker asked if I could take storefront. She went back to the drive-thru area, so I assumed she would finish the rest of what I was doing. She didn't though, and I didn't find out about it until 15 minutes later, when my boss started yelling at me about it. I understand that we made a mistake, but I explained to her that storefront got very busy and it seemed obvious that my co-worker would cover the back for me. She wouldn't let it go, though, no matter how much I explained what happened, until finally she said: "you need to stop this attitude you're giving me right now".

It felt like a punch in the face. I've never been told that I'm giving someone attitude. My parents always taught me to be respectful to my superiors, and I have always followed that. I couldn't believe she thought I was giving her attitude. I was honestly only trying to explain what happened, because I had already gotten yelled at twice in one day. She should practice what she preaches. Maybe she is my superior, but I am a firm believer that if you treat someone respectfully, you will get respect in return. Constantly yelling at people is not a way to keep a business running successfully.

I'm trying to cut back on my blogging rants, but this one could not be avoided. I hope all you fellow BEDA-ers are doing well, and I'll see you all tomorrow!