Things I learned in 2011...

-You can't please everyone. Actually, there are very few people that you can please. You can try to please certain people, but you only end up hurting or annoying others. That's why being selfish can be fun.
-People really are as stupid as you think they are. It's quite hilarious.

-Blogging is an amazing thing. It's made a glorious impact on me this year. Maybe most people don't value it as much as I do, but the fact that I'm writing something again just for the fun of it makes me happy. I could never journal, because it felt too therapeutic for me. Blogging is perfect because it's let me meet so many amazing people I otherwise would never have gotten to know.

-There is no daily struggle that cannot be fixed with swing music.

-Movies are amazing. Where have they been for most of my life?

-Finding Nemo is the best movie of all time.

-How I Met Your Mother is the best show of all time.

-Facebook is full of idiots.

-Music is growth. It is spectacular how much it has inspired and encouraged me this year. I wouldn't be the same without it.

-History is awesome. It is so fascinating. I don't care how scientifically impossible it is; my greatest wish is to be able to go back and see different historical happenings.

-Some people have to lose 80% of their friends in order to find their true friends. It's quite worth it, though.

-The best place to hide Doritos is in a desk drawer.

-I'm living in the wrong decade. I really got lost in a time vortex and somehow ended up in this stupid generation. I actually belong in the 1960s.

-I would never wish the amount of stress I had this year on anyone. Not even people I really don't like. It tears you apart and scares you. Think I'm being melodramatic? You haven't been there then.

-People who say high school is the best time of your life are liars. It's simply awkward and annoying.

-This year was awful. Next year better be a hell of a lot better.

Here are two songs, just because:

m.

I despise the letter 'm'. First, because it's the letter that keeps sticking on my laptop keyboard. Also...

Sometimes my eyes screw around with me. The letter 'm' transforms from 'm' to 'rn'. This is not good. Think of one word that has the letters 'rn' in them.

Yupp. I'm talking about porn.

I was looking through blogs people follow in hopes that I might find some hidden gems and came upon one that puzzled me: Pom Flair. How could I tell whether it said 'pom' or 'porn'? I thought to myself "heh, they must have been trolling everyone with their strategic blog name". By doing so, they could confuse those who thought it was an 'm', and terrify them with porn, or shock those who thought it was an 'rn' and annoy them with pictures of cheerleaders and pom poms.

My curiosity got the better of me, so I decided I had to see this blog and find out which was true. To my despair, I discovered this:

Blog has been removed

Blahhhh, now I'll never know what it was about! Life is unfair.

Annoyance #5364: People who brag about their gifts on Facebook.

First thing's first: Merry Christmas! Hope your day is magnificent and full of lots of delicious food and spectacular presents. But don't brag about them on Facebook.

Which brings me to my next point...

Five minutes ago I logged onto Facebook. Now, I usually avoid Facebook on Christmas at all costs, because all I see are "ZOMG I GOT THE 64 GB IPHONE 4S" or "HELLO BRAND NEW LAPTOP". Bitch, shut up and stop greeting your laptop. It can't talk.

That was mean. Apologies (but not really).

It's okay if you're happy about getting such gifts. Lord knows I'm not getting any of those things. The problem is the fact that you want everyone to feel inferior about it by posting it on Facebook. Think about it: why else would you make it public? You want everyone to feel happy for you. You want everyone to say: "Wow, that's awesome. I wish I got something like that".

The people who post their gifts on Facebook are the ones who know that most people don't get such extravagant gifts. They want attention. They want everyone to know that they can't be beaten in terms of Christmas gifts. They can easily turn someone who was grateful for a cheaper gift to someone who now feels inferior.

Yeah, I'm a bitter ass. Call me jealous. I'm not, though. My parents have never been particularly materialistic. They believe that it's better to spend your money on experiences you will never forget (like wonderful travels) than some phone that you could do perfectly well without. Plus, when you have to get at least 6 people in our family Christmas gifts, the money really adds up. I personally like getting gifts more on my birthday, because it makes me feel more special.

The people who post about the amazing things they get on Facebook are spoiled. Every day I'm grateful that I'm not like that. It makes me more thankful for the things I have. The only thing I've ever bragged about on Facebook was the fact that I got into Cornell, but I achieved that. I worked my ass off for 4 years. When you're simply given something, you are not entitled to brag about it to everyone. Get yourself some friends who care.

It is much more worthwhile to earn something. Since I'm starting work, I'm going to be saving up for the trip to Europe my mom and I are taking this summer, which is why I didn't receive many gifts from my parents this Christmas or birthday. I'll work hard for it and you know what? Knowing that I achieved it makes it feel so much better than simply to receive it.

Danke Schoen, Daaarling!

My recommendation to you all: find a new music genre you thought you thought you'd never listen to, or a genre you have a vague interest in. What I said in my last post about how I like old swing music is an understatement. I adore it.

I love the quirkiness of this picture. These men infiltrate my dreams.

I never understood high school relationships. Some of the people that get together are so different it's unbelievable. I always thought relationships are supposed to be like having a best friend, but even better. These relationships in high school only exist so they can post Facebook statuses about how much they love each other, or just so they have someone to text 24/7. It makes me want to go up to them and smack 'em in the face and call them a stupid walrus.

I've been calling people that lately. Stupid walrus. Quite applicable, though perhaps slightly offensive to the insecure. I don't have the sanity to be a nice person anymore. :\

Anyway, back to relationships: the superficiality of it all drives me crazy. I know that in the unlikelihood that I am in a relationship in the next 5 years, I would want it to be like having a best buddy-kind of like Jim and Pam from the Office. Laughing endlessly and being idiotic. I want to have Friday night movie nights, watching Ratatouille and Finding Nemo one weekend, and Casablanca and It's a Wonderful Life the next. I want someone who's perfectly willing to read hours of meme online with me, and have ridiculous conversations about the functions of bleu cheese. Oh, and someone who's willing to accept my constant obsessions.

So, after listing all of the impossible requirements of my potential "suitor" and observing all these young couples who claim to have found "the one," how can you possibly not be disillusioned? Most of these people don't even seem to have much fun together. I know some people who are in these types of relationships. They get together once a week, make out till 10 PM, then go home. The rest of their time is spent showing PDA in the hallways. Please, have some fun with your life and stop making out. You'll get herpes.

(I'm actually not stupid enough to not know that you can contract herpes so easily, but some of these kids are so stupid they'd believe it if you told them.)

Then again, I'm also a hopeless unromantic. Love is stupid. I don't even like the word love. All it does is distract you. I like life how it is. I just want someone to have fun with. Notice in the paragraph where I talked about my idea of a cool relationship I didn't use love. It's more like a best friend. I don't like commitment. It's weird. I don't like allowing someone who isn't family or a boss control me. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Nope. You can't reach me.

I also feel completely ridiculous talking about this in the first place. I'm 17. A baby. I don't know the dynamics of talking to a guy, let alone a relationship. College is more important. At least it can get me somewhere in life.

Blah. Forget this. I'm going to watch Love Actually and unintentionally choke on popcorn kernels.

Hugh Grant should be my bro. We could dance together.

They secretly all hate me because I pronounce 'meme' as "may-may"

I really should be preparing for my English oral speech tomorrow on Hamlet, but we've already established that whenever I really have work to do, I'm less inclined to do it. This can be observed in the fact that I had a history assignment due last Monday that I have yet to begin, and that I currently have a 19 in chemistry because of missing work. Slacka' fo' lyfe.

I have two exciting announcements, which will be listed below in Roman numerals, because I like Roman numerals:

 I. I got a job! After 148945 applications with not one interview, I finally got an interview and was offered a position at Tim Hortons. For those of you non-Canadians (or Americans who don't share a border with Canada), Tim Hortons (or Timmy Ho's, or Timmy's, or any other ridiculous name that I despise) is the cross-breed of Starbucks and McDonalds; classier than a fast-food joint, less sophisticated than a legitimate coffee shop. Essentially, I will either be preparing your food or scrubbing it off the toilets. Oh God, why did I say that. I'm disgusting.

II. Cornell sent me my financial aid papers today. I only have to pay $2,500 for next year. I'm ecstatic, considering their expected expenses are $59,500. It basically covers everything: my education, housing, dining, and even personal expenses like books and a laptop. The $57,000 they have covered for me also come in the form of grants, not loans, so I don't have to pay anything back. Perhaps I shouldn't be making this information public, but dude, when else am I supposed to glorify having a low-income?

Now, on to the random section of this post. I'm sure you all have heard of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind". You all are familiar with the chorus, and how the only words you can catch from it are "in New York". If you insist on knowing more than that, then simply put, you're lying. Now, look at the picture shown below and I'm positive if you sing them out loud, you will fully be able to comprehend the lyrics from this point:

God, I am so obsessed with meme. It's ridiculous. But this is hilarious. That's Wrong Lyrics Christina, by the way. The way these posts are made is by including lyrics that are frequently mispronounced, or difficult to catch when listening, and make words based on how it sounds phonetically. I probably don't even need to explain, but I still think it's funny.

On a final note: my music change, is again evolving. My music taste is like a Pokemon. It starts off like a Charmander, small and sweet, then grows into a more threatening Charmeleon, and then into the vicious Charizard. Well, this time it's more like a transformation from Charmander into Magikarp. This paragraph doesn't make sense. Ignore it.

Anyway, I've come to adore old music. Older-than-rock music. We're talking Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday and so on. We're learning about WWII and watching It's a Wonderful Life (one of my favorite movies) in school, so I've been hearing a lot of the stuff recently. God, what happened to this music? It's so jazzy. Of course, I still love my fair share of rock and indie, but who can say no to Frank Sinatra?

He was a charming man. I can feel this is the start of an enormous obsession with old American culture. I'll stack my shelves with old MGM musicals and Top 100 AFI classics over Christmas break and just drown in sweet bliss. Ah, life does get good.

Why I love pretty music.

I really should be doing my homework now. I have 10000 assignments that were due last week. I, uh, haven't started.

Yes, music can be pretty. Really! You know, the pretty music from movies that sometimes helps add the dramatic effect? Like when Mufasa died in the Lion King? Without the music, perhaps not so many people would cry each time at the scene. That's my theory, anyway.

Last spring I discovered this commercial, which inspired an early blog post, back when I still seriously sucked at blogging. It's embarrassing to link, and I'm too lazy to look for it anyways, so I'll summarize that I was basically ranting about how perfume commercials love to include random models for no apparent reason. I mean, you're advertising perfume, not clothing! It's nonsense.

Anyway, here's the video:

I love the video, with the exception of the model. I mean, she's quite beautiful, but her attempts to be erotic are just awkward. If it wasn't for the music, I would probably just go "eh" and forget about it forever. But the music pulled me in.

Here's the full song, which was actually taken from a Disney Nature documentary about flamingos. Armani be gettin' funkeh.

Gosh, it's so beautiful! It makes me want to leap across the beach in a wet dress and soaking hair (though I imagine I'd look more like a billy goat than a model). Now that I've provided my example, here's my main point:

(Attention! Prior to reading the next few paragraphs, it is essential that you are listening to the above song. If not, perhaps you will find what I am writing to be more abstract than your liking. If you choose not to, fine. ): )

Sometimes music makes an enormous difference in how we perceive a scene. When someone dies in a film, or we're shown a couple in love, sometimes it's the music that really brings that reaction out. Sometimes I love music like this more than music with lyrics, because this music let's me dream as much as I want. It has the effect on me that LSD had for the Beatles. It inspires me. With this music, I can build anything I want out in my head, without any lyrics to shape the fantasies that go on inside. I often wish my life could have a soundtrack like this. It'd make my life seem more beautiful.

I love my mind. It's a wonderful place. I can dream about fantastic sights and spectacular experiences that give me a reason to look forward to the future. There are specific places I've built in my head, not knowing whether they even exist. A couple years ago, I started fantasizing about this one rocky cliff on a beach that overlooks the sea in such vivid detail that sometimes I imagine I'm there. I'd love to think it's a sign that it exists.

I see life in so many beautiful layers of depth. How can someone possibly place their existence on making superficial small talk or having 400 friends on Facebook when there is so much to see, to do and to love?

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Hope you enjoyed this abstract thought. It's late at night, which is when my mind starts thinking weirdly.

My shark is better than your shark.

And no, that was not a sexual reference. Seriously, who needs relevant blog titles anyway?

I have these days once in a while (or, once a week) when I despise everyone and everything. Well, in school anyway. If someone abruptly stops in the hallway, or someone shouts something obnoxious across the hallway, I fly into a form of silent rage. Then I rant to all my friends. Then they're all either amused or terrified. Typically the former.

Anyway, today was one of those days. It's not anyone's fault, it's just been a stressful week. As I was wallowing in my own self-pity and rage, I realized something: I desperately fear leaving high school. Up until senior year, I had always been excited to leave school and go out into the outside world that is college. Now the outside world/college makes me nervous. It's full of bizarre things. I mean, I like bizarre as much as any average social outcast, but I can't predict anything about my future.

First things first, I don't drink. It's kind of a social given that people in college drink. I'm a control freak and I like to think I have some form of class. The idea of losing control of myself to something that comes in a bottle terrifies me. And partying. Do I look like someone who would go out in a skimpy outfit and dance on a table? Hahahaha, you haven't seen me dance. I look like this:

Lord knows I wish I was kidding. Ahahaha...lame.

I'm socially awkward, I know that. But the idea of sitting in my dorm room analyzing the uses of the bobby pin is not exactly what I'm looking forward to either.

Lalala, I should write a stream of consciousness post. Here, help yourself to a (good) modern Christmas song:

Click me!

Blah, I desperately need a good night's sleep. A person's sanity can only handle 4 hours of sleep per night for so long.

El Superhero

A week or so ago, Lex invited me to join her Superhero League, which I gracefully accepted. I would like to introduce you all to my superhero, the Falcon. 

Yes, I am a falcon. One of the most mysterious and powerful of all the birds. The falcon can fly speeds of up to 200 miles per hour, making it one of the fastest creatures of the animal world. With its swift swoops and dives and its keen eyesight, nothing stands a chance against it.

With these powers of super speed and super vision, I can defeat anyone that gets in my way. Within the blink of an eye, I will already have attacked them. My enemies will never stand a chance.

Never again will I be called slow. Never again will I squint my eyes to see something. I am the fastest person in the world, and my sharp eyesight will make you wish you were never born. I am lethal and intimidating (heh, I almost sound like Edward Cullen), but my powers will never be for evil, though my independence makes me wary of those I do not know.

But do not fear me! I am trustworthy and confident, and will help anyone who calls for it (with my sharp senses, of course).

(One thing I lack in, however, is Paint skills. Lol, that illustration of my alter-ego is so pathetic. Perhaps one of my artist League members will help me present myself more honorably.)

Blargh.

90s kids bother me. About 5 years ago, when this entire "90s kid" phenomenon started, it was exciting, because it felt like a nostalgic recollection of the childhood I hadn't realized I missed so much. I was born in 1994, the center of this phenomenon, so everything you will find below pretty much defines my childhood.

This 90s kid thing, however, has gotten way out of hand. For some reason, being born in the center of all of these things makes my generation think that they have the right to bash this upcoming generation because they're growing up differently than we did.Yes, I do find it slightly ridiculous that 10 year old kids have cell phones. Yes, I find it extremely disturbing when elementary school kids swear more than I have in my entire life. Does that mean I need to form negative preconceived notions of this generation, and hate them without any logical reason? No.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actually, I hate most of humanity in general. My above argument is a failure. Sorry, '00s kids, but your  standards of living disgust me. I assure you that you would be able to survive without your smart phone. Stop waving it around the air to flaunt the fact you have text conversations with your 5 phone contacts.

Though I can't understand why the 90s kid movement insists that anyone born in 1997 does not qualify as a 90s kid. It's a physical description of time, for God's sake.

This post may surprise you with its bitterness, but I'm actually not that bitter of a person. I'm just somewhat fed up with humanity and all the ridiculous things it comes up with to waste time. I guess that makes me a hypocrite though, because most of my time is spent browsing internet meme.

I'm not entirely lost, though! I found a picture of penguins in sweaters today.

Let's all say it together now! "Awwwww."

By the way, thanks all of you guys for your congratulations! They were very much appreciated :)

ACCEPTED!

GUESS WHERE I GOT ACCEPTED GUYS?

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT OMG.

Thinking about becoming a vegan? Think again!

 The post below contains graphic content that may not be suitable for all viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

(Also keep in mind that I did not write this post. I found it for your laughing pleasure!)

In today’s trendy artsy world, more and more young people are becoming vegan every single day. The reason most of these people become vegan is for the protection and welfare of animals. They encourage vegan meals, no meat, cheese, dairy, eggs etc. What most vegans do not realise is that there is a dirty underworld to the growing and manufacturing of this disgusting world trade that is kept well hidden from society.

Above is a picture taken in Indonesia of a carrot being prepared and slaughtered. The carrots are first skinned, then drowned, and can be eaten raw or are cooked in boiling water.

 Also above is a disturbing picture of potatoes being ripped from their home. The preparation is the same as the carrots.

Bananas grow together in a herd. When they ripen, they are stolen from their family, and whilst they are still alive their skin is peeled back and their entire body is usually in eaten in about 6 bites.

Please, all of you, do not turn your faces and look the other way. These horrors must be brought to light, for the sake of our dear fruits and vegetables!

(no produce was harmed in the making of this post)

I'm a sarcastic ass.

When grammar nazis attack: Faacebookk girlsss makeee mee soo maddd.

I caan'tt standd when littleee girls on facebookk type likee thisssss. It literallyy makess me wantt to kick them in the faceee.

(I am aware I failed at that reenactment. I have no experience typing like that.)

I have some freshman and sophomore girls as friends on Facebook. Watching them type their statuses and comments to people stirs a silent rage inside me.

Exhibit A-this is a sophomore girl who goes to my church but also is in my school. Here are several of her status updates:

"Gotttaa love themm girllss Who Block you of faceboook! LIke you really think you can Pretend to be my freind, But na you just go behind my back and Mock & laugh at me like that. & start tht rumerrrr. naa not cool at all. & you really call your self a christian."

Your typing? Naaa, not cool at all.


Another example:

"Forgive your enemies, But never, never forget there names."

Okay, people. This is a basic English rule of survival: you must learn the difference between their, there, and they're. Didn't this become common knowledge like, before the origin of man? And then there is the fact that she even included this as a status. Girls around Exhibit A's age think that a greater number of status likes is strongly correlated with a person's popularity. For this reason, they post seemingly inspirational life quotes that really have the profundity of a nursery school rhyme and applaud themselves when similar people like these statuses. This particular status received 27 likes, which reaffirms my claim.

This, I am positive, will annoy even the most serene of bloggers: 

EATING 5 mcchickens eating 2 large fries.. and maybe a chicken salad. Oh and definalty a hot fudge sunday♥

This is not a joke. Exhibit A really wrote this. "Sunday"? I cannot even begin to explain my horror. What about the usage of commas? And why did you use "eating" twice? "Definalty"? I haven't even covered exaggeration yet. This girl obviously adores exaggeration. It might help to know that the girl is the size of a twig, and always makes sure she weighs nothing more. Of course, this is an obvious cry for attention to the divine speed of her metabolism.


I can't decipher if she does this for attention or if she really is that...er, unintelligent. Intentional or not, this is a new level of ditziness. My belief in the general stupidity of mankind is, again, confirmed.

That rant has been building for months.

Dawn goes down to day

Lately, I've been reading a lot of poetry. I love poetry that incorporates nature, so the first poem that always comes to my mind is "Nothing Gold Can Stay" by Robert Frost. I first read this poem when we read The Outsiders in 7th grade, and it became the first poem I ever memorized entirely. I was, and still am, captivated by it, so hopefully you'll like it too :)

Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Er...the printed word.

I told you guys last week that I got a Kindle for my birthday. Well, guess what? (What do you use after asking guess what? A question mark? An exclamation point? A period?) On Thursday, we had a huge family party with a bunch of my relatives to celebrate Thanksgiving/my birthday. Typically they all give me money, which I am more than thankful for (Ha! Get it? Thankful?), but this year my aunt and uncle got me the most unbelievable gift ever.

A Kindle Fire.

That's not my hand, obvs.

I was absolutely speechless. I sat there holding the box with my mouth in the pathetic "O" shape Taylor Swift makes when she wins yet another undeserved award. That sentence is awkward. Yeah.

OH YOU GO TAY TAY!

Anyway, I'm ecstatic that I got such a great gift, but it got me thinking (as always). I originally asked for the regular Kindle because I wanted something as close to a book as possible, without having to carry 5 books around in my bag. Getting this Kindle is exciting also, but I think of it more as a tablet. I'll read books on this one too, of course, but having two Kindles now makes me worried. What if I completely turn away from actual books? Naturally I'm still excited about having two cool new gadgets, but when the excitement wears away will I still read printed books?

I saw these stats that said only 20% of e-book reader owners turn completely away from printed books in favor of e-books. I don't want to be a part of that 20%, so I really hope that my love for actual books won't go away.

(By the way, I really should stop adding random spurts of thoughts between sentences using parenthesis.)

Christmas songs confuse me.

The local radio station has been playing Christmas songs for a week. I'm confused. It goes without saying here that holiday songs start playing on the radio the day after Thanksgiving, but Thanksgiving is this Thursday.

I don't see any reason in playing holiday songs only a couple weeks after Halloween. Why play them on November 14, when Christmas is a month and a half away? I'm guessing it's some corporate trick to get people in the "holiday spirit," to spend more in stores earlier for Christmas gifts and get the radios more airplay.

I might sound like a bitter Scrooge, but I actually love the Christmas spirit. The majority of Christmas songs are fun to listen to, and I love all the cute Christmas decor and merchandise in stores. Not to mention the enormous 40% discount coupon from Barnes and Noble I can use to buy myself more books buy books for my friends and family.

There are five Christmas songs I can't stand, though:

Jingle Bell Rock-I guess you could argue "Mean Girls" ruined it, but I never really liked the song anyway. I'm more of a classical Christmas carol kind of person. But Lindsay Lohan shaking her ass in my face while singing that song didn't help either.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus-This could potentially be the most obnoxious and whiny song I've ever heard. Sorry, I don't like kid singers.

Silent Night-Yes, feel free to kill me for this one. I've disliked this song since first grade. Way too slow and dreary. And "sleep in heavenly peace"? Isn't that death? Doesn't really work with the whole birth of baby Jesus.

Last Christmas-Why anyone would write a Christmas song about heartbreak and desperation is beyond me. It's like preaching warfare on International Peace Day.

Feliz Navidad/Merry Christmas-Now, I love the fact that there's a Christmas song coordinating both Spanish and English in popular culture, but when does it end? The answer is never. You keep switching from Spanish to English nonstop until you get bored. Or until someone punches you. Whichever comes first. Bottom line: it's annoying and repetitive.

Which songs do you hate?

Book-Movie Adaptations

I don't like them. Nope.

The past three days, I have been obsessively reading the Hunger Games. I've heard of it for a while, but from what my friends have said about it, it didn't seem like the type of book I would like, so I never read it. Hearing a lot of positive things about the movie, I finally decided to read the book before seeing the movie. Shame me all you want for being that girl that only chose to read the book because the movie is coming out.

I finished the book an hour ago (which I loved, by the way), and then immediately went online to watch the trailer. Only one word can describe my feelings about the trailer: disappointment. I ended up adoring the book, partially because I adored the characters. I created the characters in my head, took the basic physical features they explained and made a person out of them. Watching the trailer, every significant character I imagined looks completely different.

I mean, it'll be nice to see a visual interpretation of the book, but I just can't completely accept the character portrayals. This is the reason why I almost never like book-movie adaptations. In a book, I make a world out of what the author gives me. In a movie, I'm looking at someone else's world, and it's never enough.

Kiss me now that I'm older.

Yupp, I'm 17. Fabulous, innit? Not really.

I've never been one who gets super excited about birthdays. All that attention is just too much for me. Today everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to me in five classes. It's ridiculous, because all I can do is bury my face in my hands and pray it ends sooner.

What are you supposed to do when people sing "Happy Birthday" to you anyways? Just sit there? It's awkward simply sitting and smiling. It makes you look like a freak. Part of me is tempted to sing along, but then everyone stops and yells at me for singing along. As a result, I feel pretending I'm not there and trying to hide under my desk is the best option.

Not a bad birthday, all in all. My favorite part was when my best friend brought in  "It's a Boy!" balloon to school this morning and gave it to me. The entire day I was forced to be the subject of shock and contempt from all my teachers and classmates (until I explained, of course). There's a likelihood that everyone considers me the unexpected slut, though.

My sister sent me this as well:

Oh, siblings. What birthday gift could possibly be greater than that?

I love my gifts, though. One of my closest friends finally got me the Foster the People and new Florence and the Machine CDs, knowing I'm broke as hell. My mom got me my Kindle, which I've been wanting forever, an eBook gift card, the Crazy, Stupid, Love DVD and money. My sister's taking me out to a movie and dinner tomorrow, and my brother and sister-in-law got me an enormous box of chocolates and money. My grandma also gave me the usual cash.

Not that you care about what gifts I got anyways. I felt it was kind of a "it's a birthday post, so of course I have to brag about the fabulous gifts I got because I'm a stuck up bitch" kind of thing. (Technically I was supposed to hyphenate that quoted sentence, but you all probably would have stabbed me).

Tomorrow my friends are hosting a surprise party (but not really, since I know about it) in my honor. That should be fun.

Well, then. I'm going to go now because this post couldn't possibly be more lame. The 40+ Facebook birthday posts await my graces.

An update...

Things to say:

-my birthday is tomorrow, but I pretty much won't get anything because 1.) I'm saving up most of the money for my trip to Europe this February 2.) I didn't tell anyone what I want because I don't want anything.
-I think I'm in love with Ted from How I Met Your Mother. I don't know what to do about it. He's a hopeless romantic and it's adorable.
-I can't stand people who don't have a sense of humor. I can't even believe they exist. They're a minority, but God, they're boring.
-I make the best Hamburger Helper. If you don't know what that is, basically it's pasta and sauce in a box, and you add beef.
-I skipped school today for no reason. It was lovely.
-I hate girls who say they adore Marilyn Monroe. Seriously, have you even seen one of her movies? Watch one movie at least (like Gentlemen Prefer Blondes) and then tell me you like her.
-I really want to see Hugo and J. Edgar
-I might be going insane from the severe stress I'm having in school.
-I asked for a Kindle for my birthday. I really hope I get it.

I love Ted and Barney :)

Hey, kids. Let's talk about RELATIONSHIPS.

Today, we discussed relationships in Health class. In this class, I have a friend who used to be my best friend in elementary school. We ended up drifting through middle school because she developed an obsession with always having a boyfriend, which she considered more important than actual friends.

At the time, I thought it was just a phase she was going through. This year, talking to her again, I realized it isn't. The girl has had 15 boyfriends (yes, she told me), and she isn't even 18 yet! And the worst part is the fact that they always end up being awful. All of the boyfriends she's had in high school (about 2/3 of the 15) she's met on Facebook. She meets random guys throughout the city, talks to them for a week or so, and before you know it, her Facebook relationship status is "In a Relationship".

That's her business, of course. Until she involves me and all of her other friends in it. All this girl does is whine. One day we were working in a group, and she asked her other friend "why does my life suck?" The girl answered "because you make it that way". This girl lost all her friends, lost any self-respect she had for herself, and any happiness, because of her obsession with having a boyfriend. All her Facebook statuses are "fuck my life" and "I'm so tired of all this bullshit".

What the hell were you thinking then, when you decided to go out with a 21 year old who isn't in college, has no job, and spends all of his free time going to concerts with his friends? This girl whines that he never calls, blows her off to hang out with his friends, and barely communicates with her. Yet she refuses to break up with him because she doesn't want to be alone.

And then you complain about hating your life and being insecure? You don't understand why you can't be in a good relationship,  because trust and love doesn't exist? Start with your choice of men.

I can't understand those kinds of people. Good things come to those who wait. Sure, I'd love to be in a relationship, but I choose not to be in something that will end up like what I discussed above. Relationships are not to fill a void of insecurity. I've never even been in one, and I know that. Is aiming reasonably high completely futile?

I'm aiming high;"I'm going to marry Mark Foster" high. You'll see.

See? He's waiting for me.

The sombrero is a symbol of Mexican nationalism.

I'm writing this while watching a documentary on the Mexican Revolution. Sorry to Diaz and my teacher, but at this moment, blogging is more important. Shake your heads in disgust at my indifference.

This school year is not going well. I'm working so hard (actually, I'm not) and my grades are the lowest they've been since my freshman year. It's quite devastating, especially since this year is so important and I have to finish it on good terms.

I've already applied to Cornell University (Early Decision). The decisions are announced December 15, so that means over a month of torturous waiting. I'm terrified. Chances are that I'll be rejected from every college I apply to, and end up sitting at home waiting for my destiny to...well, come.

Foster the People. What can I say about them as a band? Actually a lot:

ZOMG MARK FOSTER WHY WON'T YOU JUST MARRY ME FOR GOD'S SAKE YOUR SEXINESS IS BLINDING I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. 



*ahem* They're quite the talented band, aren't they?

Look at them. All three of them.*sigh* Being a fangirl is a curse.

Their new single is brilliant, for lack of a better word ((listen to it here). I don't think any song has ever expressed my disgust at the stupidity of human beings so well as this one. What is most amusing to me about this song is that the stupid people Mark Foster is talking about are the same ones that won't listen to the lyrics so they'll never know he's talking about them.


Hilarious.

So, I've been thinking about that historical blog-posting series I talked about a few posts ago. I've decided I'm going to go for it. I can't guarantee it will be every Wednesday, or even once a week, but isn't it time I give this blog something unique, beyond rants and fangirling?

Well, anyway, please excuse this awful excuse of a post, but you know, it was either this or a History Channel documentary (with the occasional amusing soap commercial in between). Have a wonderful day, all you fantastic bloggers!

^ That's Joseph. I won't elaborate. 

Hehehe, I'm so good at being ugly sometimes.

Today, I'll be practicing the fine art of laughing at myself, and letting others laugh at me.

LOOK EVERYONE LOOK AT ME HAHA I'M FUNNY-LOOKING AREN'T I?!

In the final one, I was trying to go for a semi-ugly pose. Don't judge, it's been a long day, waking up at 7 am to go take a 3 hour exam of literature, US history and chemistry.

(My mom and sister were watching me take these pictures. They think I'm insane.)

See you soon blogfriends!

When she was just a girl, she expected the world.

Life is full of expectations.

We expect so much out of such worthless things. We expect that we will succeed, that maybe someday we will become unbelievably beautiful, that we will become famous.

Why don't we expect being happy? Why do we feel our happiness can only lie in earning a high salary, being seen as extremely attractive, and having our face shown in magazines? Why can't we recognize the beauty in seeing the leaves fade to shades of red and yellow, or the bliss of reading in bed with a cup of tea?

Why are we so vain; so unsatisfied with our lives? Why have we placed beauty in all the wrong places? Why do we feel better when we treat someone heartlessly?

Life's biggest happiness and beauty is found in the things that money cannot ever buy us. It's found in the simple fact that we're alive.

Why is thinking of a title always the hardest?

I lost another follower. Cry forever.

Blog follower army, this is your cue! FIND THE UNFOLLOWER AND ATTACK.

I'll let you guys in on something important about me: when I passionately care about something, I don't ever shut up about it. This is what happened yesterday: in my psychology class, there is a big bulky football player, with an IQ that could perhaps rival New York weather in winter. He started talking about Foster the People, and how their only "non-crap" song is Pumped Up Kicks. Are you deaf? My friend sitting next to me (who shares my love of the band) had to calm me down, or else I would have stood up and argued with him right to his face.

I don't have anything against people who listen to Top 40 radio (no, really, I don't!). My complaint is the people who don't listen to anything beyond it. There are so many good songs that aren't played beyond those limited stations. If you love "Rolling in the Deep," listen to all of Adele's album! Broaden your musical horizons.

Some random things about me:

-I have an obsession with Pixar movies. I watch Ratatouille, Finding Nemo, the Toy Story trilogy, Up and the Incredibles religiously.
-I know people who ask for iPods or a laptop for Christmas. I build a 200 item list-half movies, half books-and tell my family and friends to "go crazy".
-I cannot snap my fingers, and no, you cannot teach me how.
-Anything someone tells me, I've already forgotten before they walk away. My memory is awful.
-Summer 2010, I went to Russia for a month and a half, and I...er, forgot how to speak English. It basically took me months after I got back to America to fully get used to speaking it again. Even now, I still stammer sometimes because of it.
-I am obsessed with troll-face. I literally make at least 3 references to it daily. See this post.
-Kate Moss once said "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". I can name 100,000 things that taste better.
-For some reason, when I meet someone new, they can tell within a day that I eat like a horse. Even when I don't try! It's also the way my friends bribe me to do something for them: make me baked goods.
-I have an abnormal obsession with birds. I think they are the most glorious, interesting creatures on the planet.
-The only thing I really think I am good at is writing.
-I breathe air and cookies.

5 books I think you should read

It's certainly not my position to tell you what you should and shouldn't read, but there are some books I think plenty of people will enjoy. Old or new, they're all written extremely well, and I think you'd all find something enjoyable about them.

1.) 1984-George Orwell
This book will change your perspective on the world. It's an amazingly horrible story of a man named Winston who lives in a dystopian society. It teaches you not to trust the government, and how things like language and memory can easily be modified or even destroyed.

2.) Atonement-Ian McEwan
In my opinion, this is the most beautifully written book of modern time. This is one of those books where even if there was no plot, you would read just because of the way it's written. It's so eloquent and Ian McEwan's writing style is unbelievable. It's a tragic love story of a young couple torn apart in WWII because the guy was unjustifiably accused of rape.

3.) The Great Gatsby-F. Scott Fitzgerald
This is my favorite book of all the ones we have read in English class. It's set in the Roaring Twenties, which is one of my favorite periods to learn about because of the rich culture. It's (of course) a bit of a romance, but it also has a lot to say about friendship, status, and how stupid it is to cheat on your lover.

4.) The Help-Kathryn Stockett
Most of you have probably heard about the story because of the film adaptation, so I'm not going to summarize too much. It's basically a story about a white woman who writes a controversial story with the help of a couple black women. It's a funny and inspiring read, and helps expose some not-so-long ago civil rights issues.

5.) The Zookeeper's Wife-Diane Ackerman
This story is an inspiring tear-jerker. It's a story of a woman who helps save 300 Polish Jews by hiding them in her zoo during the WWII Holocaust era. I love Holocaust stories because they're so real, so naturally this one is a great read, and it's written wonderfully too. It's both heartbreaking and breathtaking, and shows that one person who believes strongly enough in something can make a difference.

I tried to keep the genres and time periods a bit different, so hopefully you all will find at least one that you like. I'm also thinking about starting a new series (my first!) on this blog, where each week I'll talk about one historical period I would love to visit, from the Roman Empire to the Renaissance to WWII! What do you guys think? I'm afraid it's a little nerdy, because I'm a huge history geek. I'll think about it, and you guys let me know what you think!

New Look, New Blog!

Hello everyone! So after months and months of that old blog layout and header,  I finally updated everything! Now you all have something nice and new to smile at each day! I'm really happy with how it turned out, I think it looks great. Hopefully all of you like it too (except for you Hazel, because I know how much you loved my old layout :P).

Earlier today I posted a very ranty and very annoying post about my life, but I took it down because honestly, I couldn't stand reading it. If I couldn't stand it, how on Earth would I expect any of you to read it?! So I decided something: I'm going to make a fresh start on my blog. I feel like most of those posts I wrote were not very interesting and were quite whiny about my life and how pathetic I think it is. Not anymore! Now you all can look forward to quality (or somewhat at least) posts that might grab your attention.

So, anyways, let me know what you think of this new layout! Do you like it or would you rather stab it vigorously with a stick?

I'll also leave you with this quote from a book we're reading in English that I think relates to me:

"She was quick to learn, but forgetful and dreamy, and not disposed to take the matter seriously. At first she was so awkward that he could not help laughing at her; but she laughed with him and that made them better friends".
 -Edith Wharton, Ethan Frome

I want someone like that :)

Busy being make-believe.

Sometimes I have trouble keeping up with my brain.

I live in a dream world; a miraculous world where I am happy and satisfied. I've built an empire inside my head of my future life, the one that will come as soon as I leave this town. I don't plan things (like my obsessive friend who googles apartments in London because he's so desperate to move there). I just map things out in my head.

I know it can happen though. That's what I love about it. I know that every single dream I have, every hope and plan, can come true if I want it to.

I truly live in my thoughts. Most people who know me wouldn't think I'm much of a thoughtful person because I don't give such an air. But I find comfort in my thoughts. If I didn't have them, I would probably have gone crazy already. When you're the outcast who lives in a town in the middle of nowhere, where everyone is exactly the same, you have to have bigger dreams. You have to realize that the world is bigger and better than a place with one supermarket.

I guess I have two things to blame for that: Europe and music. Both of them catalyzed the other. When I visited different countries in Europe last summer, something enormous inside me stirred. I felt, I knew, that this was where I was supposed to be. This is the place where I could finally find people just like me. So I built my future life around this. I knew that one day, somehow, I'd come back and that is where my true life would begin. Add really good music that made me think more deeply about life and you have yourself a dream world.

It's not easy though, knowing that somewhere out there you could be happier, but you can't reach it. The only choice you have is patiently waiting. A whole year of living in a dream world isn't easy either; it changes you. The person I was before I went to Europe last summer is not the person that is sitting on her bed typing this right now. I look at things differently, I act differently. I feel like I've also become more awkward in social situations. Whereas I used to be a bit more open to meeting new people, now I'm a bit nervous for fear that they'll judge me. Or maybe that's just because I've had the same friends forever, so I don't remember how exactly you make new ones.

So there's my abstract thought for today. Digest it however you want.

Hey guys, guess what. I'M A ROCKSTAR.

Hazel is the best person ever for giving me an award she made herself! According to her, I am "Rockstar". Hey, can't argue with that, now can I? Thanks Hazel, you rock! (Haha, see what I did there? So witty.)

I wish I could have an outside perspective of my own blog. Then I'd know what to fix. I feel like it's simply made up of unfounded assumptions and superficial thoughts. I assure you, I'm actually more entertaining and un-superficial in real life. Well, fine, 1000 times more awkward maybe.

Some observations and notes of the human race (the ones that live here anyway):

-Shouting at the top of your lungs to someone who is 3 feet away is not necessary for them to hear you.
-Yes, intelligence is sexy. Wearing a shirt that says "I <3 Nerds" is not. Clearly, if you wear that shirt, you are undeserving of a nerd.
-Your fake British accents suck. Stop trying. I'm not even British and I know they sound laughably pathetic.
-I'm sorry to any Twilight fans in the blogosphere, but giving an oral commentary on Twilight is not in any way literary. For God's sake, people, there is no hidden meaning behind "you are my everything now"!
-At least try, try, to show some semblance of maturity for 5 minutes. Trust me, once you start you won't be able to stop.

Blah, I'm so pretentious. On a lighter note: listen to this song. It could be the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

Autumn.

Autumn is here! It's my favorite season, because I love all of the orange, red and yellow. It's also the season most celebrated here in my town. We have this autumn festival called the Apple Festival, where everyone goes around and buys pumpkin pies, apple everything (ever tried fried caramel apples?), and cute autumn merchandise. This weekend my friends and I are going on a haunted hay hide. I know what you're thinking. NO I AM NOT A HILLBILLY FARMER. Shut up, I live in a small town.

Today in history class, this girl was bitching about how we get a day off on Columbus Day because Columbus actually did nothing for this country, except give Native Americans smallpox, rape their women, and destroy their tribes. It was kind of amusing listening to her rant endlessly with facts she thinks only she knows, and refusing to let the teacher interject.

Some thoughts:
-Steve Jobs is dead. RIP, man. Your goods were way too expensive, but they were quality.
-I love that I'm blogging almost everyday now. It's extremely inconsistent, but it's satisfying blogging more often.
-A lot of people are either leaving or hiding from Blogger. It's annoying me. COME BACK ALL OF YOU. I MISS YOU.
-I feel like people in big cities are happier. I'd love to be able to see all my friends in a funky cafe every evening.
-Pumpkin cheesecake is delicious.
-I hate when I'm too busy to read. I've finally found some time to read The Time Traveler's Wife. It's amazing.
-I want to work in a bookstore.
-This is the only time of year I love my town.
-I won't settle for any guy that refuses to watch Ratatouille with me.

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS!

JOIN NANOWRIMO. ALL OF YOU.

For those of you who don't know, NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month. Basically, you have to write a 50,000 word novel within the month of November. Since November comes after October (hey, my first grade teacher actually taught me something!), this means that you have almost an entire month to plan! But, BUT, BUT, don't start writing anything yet. The basic rule is that you start with the beginning of November and end with 50,000 words or over at the end of it. So get your creative minds burning and start outlining!

The best part is that you don't have to actually have novel-writing experience to do it. So even if you think you suck (hehe, and even if you do), the point is to just keep going. I haven't done it before, but my close friend has and she said it worked wonders for her writing, simply because it encouraged her to overcome things like writer's block and obsessive internal editing. Do it, fellow blogging friends. Don't let anything discourage you. Tell everyone that you can write a novel!

Just because I feel like this short post is lacking in pictures, I'm going to ask your opinion: what do you think of the artist Monet? I know, maybe you don't think anything of him. Maybe you even hate art. But I think he's wonderful. He's my favorite artist because his use of color and style is amazing.

Look at that! Haha, I'm talking about fine art. Bring on the unfollowers! My blog is so lame lately. My excessive use of the word "lame" is lame lately. My ceaseless babbling is lame lately.

It was either this or math homework. Take a guess which one I chose.

Blah, you know what bothers me? Song lyrics. You know when you find this amazing song and you think you've gotten the lyrics all figured out and they make sense and you just love them? But when you go on Google to look up the lyrics and find out THE LYRICS YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW WERE WRONG? And you throw your hands up in the air and frustratedly shout EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!

Yeah, me too. 

I've been listening to this beautiful song by Arctic Monkeys (which sounds weird calling anything by the Arctic Monkeys beautiful, because it's basically the equivalent of calling the Incredible Hulk a big fuzzy teddy bear...yeah shut up, I know I suck at analogies) called Love is a Laserquest. The lyrics are so poetic, it's impossible not to love it. IMPOSSIBLE. Don't even argue with me. Anyways, in one part the lyrics go (in my opinion):

Now I can't think of air without thinking of you 
I doubt that comes as a surprise

Lovely, no? Well, it was, until I looked up the actual lyrics:

Now I can't think of there without thinking of you 
I doubt that comes as a surprise

Seriously?! How does that even make sense? All these websites are wrong. I don't care what anyone says. WRONG! They're better the way I imagine (and hear) them.

 AND HERE IS A RANDOM PICTURE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

Anyways, you can just ignore that mini-rant above. My SAT exam on Saturday didn't go too badly, based on what I think. I don't get my results until the end of the month, but I suppose it's safe to say that if they turn out much worse than I hope, I might end up looking at community college as my option. That also means I'll have to kiss my prospective neuroscience degree goodbye. Oh wait, did I even tell you that I'm thinking of being a neuroscientist now? Doesn't that sound prestigious and impressive? Roll your eyes all you want. I'll show you (lol, I'll probably end up complaining that studying nerves is boring and switch to psychology because it's more fun).

So I'm thinking of starting something I've refused to do for a couple of years now: write. I used to write stories, and I guess they weren't too terrible (no wait, they were). I stopped though because someone stupid ended up finding something I was writing and insulted it. Having had an extremely low self-esteem at the ripe age of 14, I took that personally and stopped. I thought "if I really do suck that much, might as well quit". I'm ashamed to even call myself a writer at this point, because obviously you can tell I'm not from the quality of writing on this blog. Whatever, though.

I need writing ideas! It's been a while since I've thought of anything, so I'm dead in terms of creativity. Any ideas? I know a lot of you are fantastic writers, so try to stoop down to my inferior writing status and help me out!

...my excuse for not doing my math homework.

Silly little things...

I found that on tumblr today and thought you all might enjoy it. Which one's your favorite?

Sorry for this lame excuse of a post. I have my SATs tomorrow, so I'm kind of dead. Anxious test-taker right here.

I finally got my school senior portraits taken! I'll post up a few next post. I got them taken at a college campus library. I have to say, I felt very hipster choosing to take my portraits in a college library. But not really. Reading is too mainstream for hipsters.

I love how I get most of my blogging inspiration right before I go to bed.

Why is it that when I want to be inspired, I'm not, but when I have other things to do (like sleep) I get a bunch of ideas that cannot be ignored? Brain, you're killing me...

Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me. Why am I not like other people my age? What went wrong with my brain?

Last week we watched All Quiet on the Western Front in history class, which was made in like the 1930s. I loved the movie; it was just a beautiful film that I would consider a work of art. But when my friends and I were talking about it a couple of days ago, they all said it was horrible. The acting was terrible, the effects were awful, and it was just a piece of crap. I honestly felt like crying. Do you not realize that acting has changed drastically over the past 70 years or are you just that ignorant?

I'm the only one I know that loves old movies. Why am I like that though? Why am I more content to watch Casablanca than a cliche modern chick flick? I don't even understand myself. Even my best friend who I relate to most would never agree to watch anything that was made beyond 1997 with me.

And I love literature. Yeah, I'm talking about reading Moby Dick for fun. I go to Barnes & Noble and spend two hours trying to figure out which 3 books to get on the "Buy Two Get One Free" sale, and end up walking out with Shakespeare's King Lear, Grimm's Fairy Tales and The Three Musketeers. 

I'm not saying any of this because I want to brag about how unique I am, even though you may think that. You know, like those crazy hipsters who like to hang around in foreign film cinemas and complain about how mainstream the world is. Trust me, I'm not a part of that charade.

Sometimes it's tough letting people get to know you because you're so afraid that when they really start learning about you, they'll think you're a freak. But it's even worse trying to hide it and pretending that you  watch Teen Mom religiously and all that nonsense. Some people try to embrace uniqueness, I don't even know how to deal with it. Lord, I sound whiny, don't I?

I have no idea why I wrote this, but I hope someone (anyone?) can relate at least a little to it.

Bigmouth Strikes Again

So yesterday, my mom was begging my sister and I to remember our manners and try to be polite in front of Alex. In response to that, I said sarcastically "why? Maybe if I act like a complete bitch in front of him, he'll leave sooner!"

Mother wasn't amused. I love being a bitch sometimes.

Anyways, you won't be getting an angsty post from me today! I actually found this absolutely adorable picture on weheartit a couple days ago, and I'm just in love with it:

This picture says so much. It makes me think they're in a long-distance relationship. Look at the girl's smile-she looks so happy. I do love the idea of long-distance relationships (the successful ones, anyway). In the successful ones, both the boy and the girl are so committed. They cherish each moment together because they don't know the next time they'll see each other. Take the above picture; I imagine they don't see each other every day, and because they wish they could be together when they fall asleep, they try the next best thing. It shows dedication and loyalty.

I imagine it's heartbreaking as well though; not getting to see the person you want to see more than anything. But I think it makes it even more worthwhile when they finally do. Maybe it's just unrealistic, romantic me. I still think the picture is adorable though.

What do you guys think of the new Facebook? Personally, I hate it. I hate the fact that now, any websites you're connected to through Facebook reveal everything on your Newsfeed. So if I'm listening to music on Pandora, it will reveal every song I listened to. It's ridiculous that Facebook is looking beyond our privacy needs completely now. At least they could have told us their new plans; I feel like we're just the big corporate product these days. I'm considering trying the new Google+. It seems more promising.

And now for a bit of comedy: guess where I'm applying, guys! Brown University. *cue laughter* Guess what their acceptance rate is? 10%. Ahahaha I'm such a joke.

I've been thinking hard the past few days about my favorite Disney movie, and I've finally come to a decision: Peter Pan. What's your favorite Disney movie? I'm dying to know!

A red tropical parrot might just help right now..

I'm a terrible blogger, I know. Sorry for being MIA.

I'm miserable. Absolutely miserable. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. I don't even know where to begin. It's not a collection of things,  it's just one thing; one person.

Sunday afternoon, someone new moved into our house: my dad's best friend's 21 year old son, Alex. He came to the States a few months ago from Russia, but moved here because he's going to be living in America for a while, so my parents let him stay at our house till he can get his future figured out.

Except they never agreed to it. My mom especially wasn't keen on the idea, but of course neither of them could say no out of respect. I was hesitant to the idea, because who really wants some guy they've never met come live with them? Now that he's living with us though, I can't stand it. I literally dread coming home from school every day.

We are so different it's ridiculous. I'm a slob, he's a neat-freak. He did all our dishes yesterday, without being asked! What kind of guy does that? If I ever asked my older brother to do the dishes, I'm pretty sure he'd throw a plate at me. And then comes the issue of humor, and the fact that I don't think he even has a sense of humor. This is especially difficult for me, because the majority of my relationships with people are founded on humor. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAINTAIN A CONVERSATION WITH ABSOLUTELY NO SARCASM? I tried, but he didn't get it.

I know, I know. Those are lame reasons for not liking a person, but it is unbelievably difficult to get used to someone intruding into your way of life. My whole life, I have been surrounded by three other people: my mom, my grandma, and my little sister. My dad was always out on the road working (he's a truck driver), and my brother was always going out, so it was mostly "us girls". It's really difficult to adjust from being just girls in the home to a sudden male that isn't my brother nor my father.

And then I find out that he's not planning on leaving soon. A month or two I could still take, but Lord knows when he's leaving. We assumed eventually he'd head off to NYC, because there are a lot of Russian immigrants there (like my cousin) and he's guaranteed to find a job easily, but  he doesn't want to. He wants to stay in our city, in our house, until he can get himself a job and enough money to rent a place of his own somewhere nearby.


Our city has a ridiculously high unemployment rate.

I guess this is how the child of a divorced parent feels when they find out they're remarrying. Absolute resentment. I don't even feel comfortable in my own house anymore (can you tell I don't adjust well to change?). I want things back to normal. I feel awful for being a whiny, snobby bitch, especially here on Blogger, but it's really the only thing that occupies my thoughts right now.

 That tharr be mah future parrot, Rupert. Doesn't he look defiant? I'm trying to convince my mom that since I had to sacrifice my homely comfort for some random guy, she has to get me a pet.