And no, that was not a sexual reference. Seriously, who needs relevant blog titles anyway?
I have these days once in a while (or, once a week) when I despise everyone and everything. Well, in school anyway. If someone abruptly stops in the hallway, or someone shouts something obnoxious across the hallway, I fly into a form of silent rage. Then I rant to all my friends. Then they're all either amused or terrified. Typically the former.
Anyway, today was one of those days. It's not anyone's fault, it's just been a stressful week. As I was wallowing in my own self-pity and rage, I realized something: I desperately fear leaving high school. Up until senior year, I had always been excited to leave school and go out into the outside world that is college. Now the outside world/college makes me nervous. It's full of bizarre things. I mean, I like bizarre as much as any average social outcast, but I can't predict anything about my future.
First things first, I don't drink. It's kind of a social given that people in college drink. I'm a control freak and I like to think I have some form of class. The idea of losing control of myself to something that comes in a bottle terrifies me. And partying. Do I look like someone who would go out in a skimpy outfit and dance on a table? Hahahaha, you haven't seen me dance. I look like this:
I'm socially awkward, I know that. But the idea of sitting in my dorm room analyzing the uses of the bobby pin is not exactly what I'm looking forward to either.
Lalala, I should write a stream of consciousness post. Here, help yourself to a (good) modern Christmas song:
Blah, I desperately need a good night's sleep. A person's sanity can only handle 4 hours of sleep per night for so long.