Wednesday, November 30, 2011

When grammar nazis attack: Faacebookk girlsss makeee mee soo maddd.

I caan'tt standd when littleee girls on facebookk type likee thisssss. It literallyy makess me wantt to kick them in the faceee.

(I am aware I failed at that reenactment. I have no experience typing like that.)

I have some freshman and sophomore girls as friends on Facebook. Watching them type their statuses and comments to people stirs a silent rage inside me.

Exhibit A-this is a sophomore girl who goes to my church but also is in my school. Here are several of her status updates:

"Gotttaa love themm girllss Who Block you of faceboook! LIke you really think you can Pretend to be my freind, But na you just go behind my back and Mock & laugh at me like that. & start tht rumerrrr. naa not cool at all. & you really call your self a christian."

Your typing? Naaa, not cool at all.

Another example:
"Forgive your enemies, But never, never forget there names."

Okay, people. This is a basic English rule of survival: you must learn the difference between their, there, and they're. Didn't this become common knowledge like, before the origin of man? And then there is the fact that she even included this as a status. Girls around Exhibit A's age think that a greater number of status likes is strongly correlated with a person's popularity. For this reason, they post seemingly inspirational life quotes that really have the profundity of a nursery school rhyme and applaud themselves when similar people like these statuses. This particular status received 27 likes, which reaffirms my claim.

This, I am positive, will annoy even the most serene of bloggers: 

EATING 5 mcchickens eating 2 large fries.. and maybe a chicken salad. Oh and definalty a hot fudge sunday♥

This is not a joke. Exhibit A really wrote this. "Sunday"? I cannot even begin to explain my horror. What about the usage of commas? And why did you use "eating" twice? "Definalty"? I haven't even covered exaggeration yet. This girl obviously adores exaggeration. It might help to know that the girl is the size of a twig, and always makes sure she weighs nothing more. Of course, this is an obvious cry for attention to the divine speed of her metabolism.

I can't decipher if she does this for attention or if she really is, unintelligent. Intentional or not, this is a new level of ditziness. My belief in the general stupidity of mankind is, again, confirmed.

That rant has been building for months.


  1. OH MY GOSH that stuff is killer! I hate it.

    And some of those statuses had something else that makes me want to barf: Capitalizing random words In the status That really Have no business Being capitalized.

    How people even think that looks right it beyond me.

  2. I can't tell you how annoying it is for me when people don't know the difference between "there", "their" and "they're". It's not that hard!!!

    Oh and on another note, I'd have hide those girls agggges ago because they sound extremely annoying!

  3. Hah, it's a pet hate of mine when people can't tell the difference between "they're", "there" and "their" - (I admit I've done it accidentally a few times when I've been rushing!)

    Hopefully she'll realise that it "isn't cool" and will start to type normally - girls at my school do it too ^_^ hha

  4. I would so knuckle punch you right now if I could. I was so close to calling out one of /those/ girls on my facebook the other day for saying "I seen you the other day" this post makes you my heroooo!

  5. "Seems like Facebook needs another lesson in grammar. There, their, and they're are not interchangeable words. 1)Their is possessive. Example: Their grammar skills are atrocious. 2) They're is a contraction of "they are". Example: They're out of their minds! They're going to drive me crazy! 3) There refers to location. Example: You can put your status up there for the world to see if you want, but we can mock you for it. Please make an effort to write like an educated human being."

    That was my status update this morning. Sometimes you just have to defend the English language, even when it insults most of the people who read it.

  6. I agree with you completely! I have seen some people post some wise posts and tweet some wise tweets, but they ruin it with mix-ups between words like your and you're. Seriously people?! My favorite quote from this post is: "Your typing? Naaa, not cool at all." That made me laugh very hard. I also cannot stand when people use social networking for attention, like the girl you mentioned. They like to cause drama and want unessecary sympathy.
    As far as the double-lettering trend, at least your friends do it at the end of the word! A girl I know does it at the beginning. For example (and I quote): "UUghhhh i fforgot mmy bbiology hhomework :( ggreaaattt." Now that is disturbing.


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