Today's rant will be about small towns. Yay, small towns!
Actually, no. Curse small towns. Small towns are the reason I finally got my car registered today, but have nowhere to go. Small towns are the reason I spend a ton of money at the bookstore because I don't know what else there is to do nearby. Small towns are the reason I have to drive half an hour to get to a theatre that plays movies worth seeing.
I'm in one of those moods tonight where I'm desperate to go out somewhere simply for the sake of going out. I'm on break from school this week, and it's been pretty uneventful so far. I want to see a movie, but all the major movies playing right now are hopelessly lame. Seriously, The Vow? Sounds like a cheap Nicholas Sparks remake.
I could be doing homework right now, but I'm trying to enjoy at least part of my break. It doesn't seem to be working, though, because I know I should be doing something more important, like the 1000 projects I was assigned to do over this one-week period. It's close to making me cry.
Guys, I'm so frustrated with my life. I'm so unbearably angry at being assigned at least one project in each of my classes. I'd rather be at school with the average night's homework than all of this awful work I'm expected to have finished by the end of this week. My mind is so exhausted from all of this continuous work. I don't know what a break is, because I'm never given one. I have literally prayed for the flu or mono or something that could give me some form of relaxation, even if distorted. I know that's an awful thing to admit, but that's how tired I am.
I feel embarrassed with myself, how much I've been alone recently. My friends and I have almost stopped hanging out outside of school because we're so tired of being around each other. I think we're afraid that if we hang out with each other, the constant reminder that we have schoolwork to do will come back to haunt us and we'll return to our tense and stressed selves. But I miss them. I mean, I enjoy being alone a lot, but sometimes my brain tells me that this is not normal; that I shouldn't be content with being alone and I should feel guilty. That's how I feel right now. I feel guilty for not being normal enough to go out with friends and do nonsense when I really just feel like watching a movie right now.
I know my depressing posts are depressing anyone who bothers to read my blog anymore. I suppose I'm just searching for someone to listen to me and say: "Hey, you know what? I care. You're wonderful." I don't know if honest and caring people exist like that anymore, though. Don't worry, I'm not expecting that from any of you. I'm really not. I guess sometimes my blog's kind of therapeutic for me. I write because it makes me feel better.
Sorry, blogfriends. I know I'm irritating.