Sometimes I wonder why I've never had a boyfriend.
Of course, there are plenty of reasons why that could be. Sometimes when I'm in school, I see different girls with their boyfriends and I wonder "why do they have a boyfriend, and I don't?" I know that's arrogant and snobby of me, but I can't help it.
To comfort myself, sometimes I just remember that I'm only 16 and I have plenty of time (which, of course, I do). But the pessimist inside me wonders why almost every girl in school has been in a relationship, and I barely have any guy friends at all. I can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me?
Is it that I'm picky? Awkward? Shy? Not terribly good-looking? All of the above?
Yeah, I sound whiny in this post. I'm between two sides. The romantic part of me wants a sweeping relationship, but the realistic part of me knows that there isn't anyone here that would truly make me happy, and that I'm better off alone to wait for someone that I have a lot in common with.
And then there's the hopeless side of me, which is afraid that my awkwardness and shyness will leave me forever alone. I don't think anyone has ever been attracted to me (not that I know of, anyway), which just leaves me wondering if there's something wrong with me?
My expectations are too high anyways, since I'm in love with famous musicians. Why go for the kid high on pot in chemistry class when you can fantasize about Johnny Marr and George Harrison, two of the most wonderfully attractive and brilliant guitar players to ever walk the planet (not to mention both with cute English accents)?
Good Lord, this is just too much sexiness for one post. It's sad too, because George (left) is dead, and Johnny (right) is in his forties and married.
So in this post I have convinced you all that I am: (a) angsty (b) desperate (c) stupid (d) creepy (e) forever alone