Things I learned in 2011...

-You can't please everyone. Actually, there are very few people that you can please. You can try to please certain people, but you only end up hurting or annoying others. That's why being selfish can be fun.
-People really are as stupid as you think they are. It's quite hilarious.

-Blogging is an amazing thing. It's made a glorious impact on me this year. Maybe most people don't value it as much as I do, but the fact that I'm writing something again just for the fun of it makes me happy. I could never journal, because it felt too therapeutic for me. Blogging is perfect because it's let me meet so many amazing people I otherwise would never have gotten to know.

-There is no daily struggle that cannot be fixed with swing music.

-Movies are amazing. Where have they been for most of my life?

-Finding Nemo is the best movie of all time.

-How I Met Your Mother is the best show of all time.

-Facebook is full of idiots.

-Music is growth. It is spectacular how much it has inspired and encouraged me this year. I wouldn't be the same without it.

-History is awesome. It is so fascinating. I don't care how scientifically impossible it is; my greatest wish is to be able to go back and see different historical happenings.

-Some people have to lose 80% of their friends in order to find their true friends. It's quite worth it, though.

-The best place to hide Doritos is in a desk drawer.

-I'm living in the wrong decade. I really got lost in a time vortex and somehow ended up in this stupid generation. I actually belong in the 1960s.

-I would never wish the amount of stress I had this year on anyone. Not even people I really don't like. It tears you apart and scares you. Think I'm being melodramatic? You haven't been there then.

-People who say high school is the best time of your life are liars. It's simply awkward and annoying.

-This year was awful. Next year better be a hell of a lot better.

Here are two songs, just because:

m.

I despise the letter 'm'. First, because it's the letter that keeps sticking on my laptop keyboard. Also...

Sometimes my eyes screw around with me. The letter 'm' transforms from 'm' to 'rn'. This is not good. Think of one word that has the letters 'rn' in them.

Yupp. I'm talking about porn.

I was looking through blogs people follow in hopes that I might find some hidden gems and came upon one that puzzled me: Pom Flair. How could I tell whether it said 'pom' or 'porn'? I thought to myself "heh, they must have been trolling everyone with their strategic blog name". By doing so, they could confuse those who thought it was an 'm', and terrify them with porn, or shock those who thought it was an 'rn' and annoy them with pictures of cheerleaders and pom poms.

My curiosity got the better of me, so I decided I had to see this blog and find out which was true. To my despair, I discovered this:

Blog has been removed

Blahhhh, now I'll never know what it was about! Life is unfair.

Annoyance #5364: People who brag about their gifts on Facebook.

First thing's first: Merry Christmas! Hope your day is magnificent and full of lots of delicious food and spectacular presents. But don't brag about them on Facebook.

Which brings me to my next point...

Five minutes ago I logged onto Facebook. Now, I usually avoid Facebook on Christmas at all costs, because all I see are "ZOMG I GOT THE 64 GB IPHONE 4S" or "HELLO BRAND NEW LAPTOP". Bitch, shut up and stop greeting your laptop. It can't talk.

That was mean. Apologies (but not really).

It's okay if you're happy about getting such gifts. Lord knows I'm not getting any of those things. The problem is the fact that you want everyone to feel inferior about it by posting it on Facebook. Think about it: why else would you make it public? You want everyone to feel happy for you. You want everyone to say: "Wow, that's awesome. I wish I got something like that".

The people who post their gifts on Facebook are the ones who know that most people don't get such extravagant gifts. They want attention. They want everyone to know that they can't be beaten in terms of Christmas gifts. They can easily turn someone who was grateful for a cheaper gift to someone who now feels inferior.

Yeah, I'm a bitter ass. Call me jealous. I'm not, though. My parents have never been particularly materialistic. They believe that it's better to spend your money on experiences you will never forget (like wonderful travels) than some phone that you could do perfectly well without. Plus, when you have to get at least 6 people in our family Christmas gifts, the money really adds up. I personally like getting gifts more on my birthday, because it makes me feel more special.

The people who post about the amazing things they get on Facebook are spoiled. Every day I'm grateful that I'm not like that. It makes me more thankful for the things I have. The only thing I've ever bragged about on Facebook was the fact that I got into Cornell, but I achieved that. I worked my ass off for 4 years. When you're simply given something, you are not entitled to brag about it to everyone. Get yourself some friends who care.

It is much more worthwhile to earn something. Since I'm starting work, I'm going to be saving up for the trip to Europe my mom and I are taking this summer, which is why I didn't receive many gifts from my parents this Christmas or birthday. I'll work hard for it and you know what? Knowing that I achieved it makes it feel so much better than simply to receive it.

Danke Schoen, Daaarling!

My recommendation to you all: find a new music genre you thought you thought you'd never listen to, or a genre you have a vague interest in. What I said in my last post about how I like old swing music is an understatement. I adore it.

I love the quirkiness of this picture. These men infiltrate my dreams.

I never understood high school relationships. Some of the people that get together are so different it's unbelievable. I always thought relationships are supposed to be like having a best friend, but even better. These relationships in high school only exist so they can post Facebook statuses about how much they love each other, or just so they have someone to text 24/7. It makes me want to go up to them and smack 'em in the face and call them a stupid walrus.

I've been calling people that lately. Stupid walrus. Quite applicable, though perhaps slightly offensive to the insecure. I don't have the sanity to be a nice person anymore. :\

Anyway, back to relationships: the superficiality of it all drives me crazy. I know that in the unlikelihood that I am in a relationship in the next 5 years, I would want it to be like having a best buddy-kind of like Jim and Pam from the Office. Laughing endlessly and being idiotic. I want to have Friday night movie nights, watching Ratatouille and Finding Nemo one weekend, and Casablanca and It's a Wonderful Life the next. I want someone who's perfectly willing to read hours of meme online with me, and have ridiculous conversations about the functions of bleu cheese. Oh, and someone who's willing to accept my constant obsessions.

So, after listing all of the impossible requirements of my potential "suitor" and observing all these young couples who claim to have found "the one," how can you possibly not be disillusioned? Most of these people don't even seem to have much fun together. I know some people who are in these types of relationships. They get together once a week, make out till 10 PM, then go home. The rest of their time is spent showing PDA in the hallways. Please, have some fun with your life and stop making out. You'll get herpes.

(I'm actually not stupid enough to not know that you can contract herpes so easily, but some of these kids are so stupid they'd believe it if you told them.)

Then again, I'm also a hopeless unromantic. Love is stupid. I don't even like the word love. All it does is distract you. I like life how it is. I just want someone to have fun with. Notice in the paragraph where I talked about my idea of a cool relationship I didn't use love. It's more like a best friend. I don't like commitment. It's weird. I don't like allowing someone who isn't family or a boss control me. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Nope. You can't reach me.

I also feel completely ridiculous talking about this in the first place. I'm 17. A baby. I don't know the dynamics of talking to a guy, let alone a relationship. College is more important. At least it can get me somewhere in life.

Blah. Forget this. I'm going to watch Love Actually and unintentionally choke on popcorn kernels.

Hugh Grant should be my bro. We could dance together.

They secretly all hate me because I pronounce 'meme' as "may-may"

I really should be preparing for my English oral speech tomorrow on Hamlet, but we've already established that whenever I really have work to do, I'm less inclined to do it. This can be observed in the fact that I had a history assignment due last Monday that I have yet to begin, and that I currently have a 19 in chemistry because of missing work. Slacka' fo' lyfe.

I have two exciting announcements, which will be listed below in Roman numerals, because I like Roman numerals:

 I. I got a job! After 148945 applications with not one interview, I finally got an interview and was offered a position at Tim Hortons. For those of you non-Canadians (or Americans who don't share a border with Canada), Tim Hortons (or Timmy Ho's, or Timmy's, or any other ridiculous name that I despise) is the cross-breed of Starbucks and McDonalds; classier than a fast-food joint, less sophisticated than a legitimate coffee shop. Essentially, I will either be preparing your food or scrubbing it off the toilets. Oh God, why did I say that. I'm disgusting.

II. Cornell sent me my financial aid papers today. I only have to pay $2,500 for next year. I'm ecstatic, considering their expected expenses are $59,500. It basically covers everything: my education, housing, dining, and even personal expenses like books and a laptop. The $57,000 they have covered for me also come in the form of grants, not loans, so I don't have to pay anything back. Perhaps I shouldn't be making this information public, but dude, when else am I supposed to glorify having a low-income?

Now, on to the random section of this post. I'm sure you all have heard of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind". You all are familiar with the chorus, and how the only words you can catch from it are "in New York". If you insist on knowing more than that, then simply put, you're lying. Now, look at the picture shown below and I'm positive if you sing them out loud, you will fully be able to comprehend the lyrics from this point:

God, I am so obsessed with meme. It's ridiculous. But this is hilarious. That's Wrong Lyrics Christina, by the way. The way these posts are made is by including lyrics that are frequently mispronounced, or difficult to catch when listening, and make words based on how it sounds phonetically. I probably don't even need to explain, but I still think it's funny.

On a final note: my music change, is again evolving. My music taste is like a Pokemon. It starts off like a Charmander, small and sweet, then grows into a more threatening Charmeleon, and then into the vicious Charizard. Well, this time it's more like a transformation from Charmander into Magikarp. This paragraph doesn't make sense. Ignore it.

Anyway, I've come to adore old music. Older-than-rock music. We're talking Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday and so on. We're learning about WWII and watching It's a Wonderful Life (one of my favorite movies) in school, so I've been hearing a lot of the stuff recently. God, what happened to this music? It's so jazzy. Of course, I still love my fair share of rock and indie, but who can say no to Frank Sinatra?

He was a charming man. I can feel this is the start of an enormous obsession with old American culture. I'll stack my shelves with old MGM musicals and Top 100 AFI classics over Christmas break and just drown in sweet bliss. Ah, life does get good.