Busy being make-believe.

Sometimes I have trouble keeping up with my brain.

I live in a dream world; a miraculous world where I am happy and satisfied. I've built an empire inside my head of my future life, the one that will come as soon as I leave this town. I don't plan things (like my obsessive friend who googles apartments in London because he's so desperate to move there). I just map things out in my head.

I know it can happen though. That's what I love about it. I know that every single dream I have, every hope and plan, can come true if I want it to.

I truly live in my thoughts. Most people who know me wouldn't think I'm much of a thoughtful person because I don't give such an air. But I find comfort in my thoughts. If I didn't have them, I would probably have gone crazy already. When you're the outcast who lives in a town in the middle of nowhere, where everyone is exactly the same, you have to have bigger dreams. You have to realize that the world is bigger and better than a place with one supermarket.

I guess I have two things to blame for that: Europe and music. Both of them catalyzed the other. When I visited different countries in Europe last summer, something enormous inside me stirred. I felt, I knew, that this was where I was supposed to be. This is the place where I could finally find people just like me. So I built my future life around this. I knew that one day, somehow, I'd come back and that is where my true life would begin. Add really good music that made me think more deeply about life and you have yourself a dream world.

It's not easy though, knowing that somewhere out there you could be happier, but you can't reach it. The only choice you have is patiently waiting. A whole year of living in a dream world isn't easy either; it changes you. The person I was before I went to Europe last summer is not the person that is sitting on her bed typing this right now. I look at things differently, I act differently. I feel like I've also become more awkward in social situations. Whereas I used to be a bit more open to meeting new people, now I'm a bit nervous for fear that they'll judge me. Or maybe that's just because I've had the same friends forever, so I don't remember how exactly you make new ones.

So there's my abstract thought for today. Digest it however you want.

Hey guys, guess what. I'M A ROCKSTAR.

Hazel is the best person ever for giving me an award she made herself! According to her, I am "Rockstar". Hey, can't argue with that, now can I? Thanks Hazel, you rock! (Haha, see what I did there? So witty.)

I wish I could have an outside perspective of my own blog. Then I'd know what to fix. I feel like it's simply made up of unfounded assumptions and superficial thoughts. I assure you, I'm actually more entertaining and un-superficial in real life. Well, fine, 1000 times more awkward maybe.

Some observations and notes of the human race (the ones that live here anyway):

-Shouting at the top of your lungs to someone who is 3 feet away is not necessary for them to hear you.
-Yes, intelligence is sexy. Wearing a shirt that says "I <3 Nerds" is not. Clearly, if you wear that shirt, you are undeserving of a nerd.
-Your fake British accents suck. Stop trying. I'm not even British and I know they sound laughably pathetic.
-I'm sorry to any Twilight fans in the blogosphere, but giving an oral commentary on Twilight is not in any way literary. For God's sake, people, there is no hidden meaning behind "you are my everything now"!
-At least try, try, to show some semblance of maturity for 5 minutes. Trust me, once you start you won't be able to stop.

Blah, I'm so pretentious. On a lighter note: listen to this song. It could be the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

Autumn.

Autumn is here! It's my favorite season, because I love all of the orange, red and yellow. It's also the season most celebrated here in my town. We have this autumn festival called the Apple Festival, where everyone goes around and buys pumpkin pies, apple everything (ever tried fried caramel apples?), and cute autumn merchandise. This weekend my friends and I are going on a haunted hay hide. I know what you're thinking. NO I AM NOT A HILLBILLY FARMER. Shut up, I live in a small town.

Today in history class, this girl was bitching about how we get a day off on Columbus Day because Columbus actually did nothing for this country, except give Native Americans smallpox, rape their women, and destroy their tribes. It was kind of amusing listening to her rant endlessly with facts she thinks only she knows, and refusing to let the teacher interject.

Some thoughts:
-Steve Jobs is dead. RIP, man. Your goods were way too expensive, but they were quality.
-I love that I'm blogging almost everyday now. It's extremely inconsistent, but it's satisfying blogging more often.
-A lot of people are either leaving or hiding from Blogger. It's annoying me. COME BACK ALL OF YOU. I MISS YOU.
-I feel like people in big cities are happier. I'd love to be able to see all my friends in a funky cafe every evening.
-Pumpkin cheesecake is delicious.
-I hate when I'm too busy to read. I've finally found some time to read The Time Traveler's Wife. It's amazing.
-I want to work in a bookstore.
-This is the only time of year I love my town.
-I won't settle for any guy that refuses to watch Ratatouille with me.

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS!

JOIN NANOWRIMO. ALL OF YOU.

For those of you who don't know, NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month. Basically, you have to write a 50,000 word novel within the month of November. Since November comes after October (hey, my first grade teacher actually taught me something!), this means that you have almost an entire month to plan! But, BUT, BUT, don't start writing anything yet. The basic rule is that you start with the beginning of November and end with 50,000 words or over at the end of it. So get your creative minds burning and start outlining!

The best part is that you don't have to actually have novel-writing experience to do it. So even if you think you suck (hehe, and even if you do), the point is to just keep going. I haven't done it before, but my close friend has and she said it worked wonders for her writing, simply because it encouraged her to overcome things like writer's block and obsessive internal editing. Do it, fellow blogging friends. Don't let anything discourage you. Tell everyone that you can write a novel!

Just because I feel like this short post is lacking in pictures, I'm going to ask your opinion: what do you think of the artist Monet? I know, maybe you don't think anything of him. Maybe you even hate art. But I think he's wonderful. He's my favorite artist because his use of color and style is amazing.

Look at that! Haha, I'm talking about fine art. Bring on the unfollowers! My blog is so lame lately. My excessive use of the word "lame" is lame lately. My ceaseless babbling is lame lately.

It was either this or math homework. Take a guess which one I chose.

Blah, you know what bothers me? Song lyrics. You know when you find this amazing song and you think you've gotten the lyrics all figured out and they make sense and you just love them? But when you go on Google to look up the lyrics and find out THE LYRICS YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW WERE WRONG? And you throw your hands up in the air and frustratedly shout EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!

Yeah, me too. 

I've been listening to this beautiful song by Arctic Monkeys (which sounds weird calling anything by the Arctic Monkeys beautiful, because it's basically the equivalent of calling the Incredible Hulk a big fuzzy teddy bear...yeah shut up, I know I suck at analogies) called Love is a Laserquest. The lyrics are so poetic, it's impossible not to love it. IMPOSSIBLE. Don't even argue with me. Anyways, in one part the lyrics go (in my opinion):

Now I can't think of air without thinking of you 
I doubt that comes as a surprise

Lovely, no? Well, it was, until I looked up the actual lyrics:

Now I can't think of there without thinking of you 
I doubt that comes as a surprise

Seriously?! How does that even make sense? All these websites are wrong. I don't care what anyone says. WRONG! They're better the way I imagine (and hear) them.

 AND HERE IS A RANDOM PICTURE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

Anyways, you can just ignore that mini-rant above. My SAT exam on Saturday didn't go too badly, based on what I think. I don't get my results until the end of the month, but I suppose it's safe to say that if they turn out much worse than I hope, I might end up looking at community college as my option. That also means I'll have to kiss my prospective neuroscience degree goodbye. Oh wait, did I even tell you that I'm thinking of being a neuroscientist now? Doesn't that sound prestigious and impressive? Roll your eyes all you want. I'll show you (lol, I'll probably end up complaining that studying nerves is boring and switch to psychology because it's more fun).

So I'm thinking of starting something I've refused to do for a couple of years now: write. I used to write stories, and I guess they weren't too terrible (no wait, they were). I stopped though because someone stupid ended up finding something I was writing and insulted it. Having had an extremely low self-esteem at the ripe age of 14, I took that personally and stopped. I thought "if I really do suck that much, might as well quit". I'm ashamed to even call myself a writer at this point, because obviously you can tell I'm not from the quality of writing on this blog. Whatever, though.

I need writing ideas! It's been a while since I've thought of anything, so I'm dead in terms of creativity. Any ideas? I know a lot of you are fantastic writers, so try to stoop down to my inferior writing status and help me out!

...my excuse for not doing my math homework.