So much confusion

I leave in less than 48 hours. Only 2 nights left at home.

I've been spending a lot of time this week hanging out with friends, which is bad because I really should be packing. I have so much left to do. My room is a disaster. I can't see my floor.

This entire week has been filled both with excitement and dread. I'm sure anyone that's experienced going away to college understands. Has anyone else struggled with oversensitive "oh-no-my-baby's-all-grown-up" mothers? She's bought me so much stuff, half of which I could have just as easily bought at any store in Ithaca. She bought me 3 bulk packs of snacks, even when I told her not to! I'm honestly embarrassed to even arrive on campus. Everyone will probably have brought half of the amount of stuff I'm bringing.

The dread of going away mostly comes from the fact that I don't want summer to end. I've been watching so many movies (not to mention all the Seinfeld reruns). I'm so unsure of how much free time I'll have in college. Will I have time to watch movies anymore? Will I have time to watch Seinfeld? (Yes, Seinfeld is my new obsession).

I'm throwing in a picture because there's too much text

I guess it's overwhelming because I've spent so many months putting the thought of college out of my head. I always thought "eh, it's still so far away, so there's no point in thinking about it". Yeah. Bad idea. Future college students: don't do that. It leaves you rushing the last week trying to find everything the stores ran out of a month ago.

The scary part is that there's this growing part of me that kind of wishes I'd gone to school in New York City. It's shocking, because I've wanted to go to Cornell for years. My friend from school is going to NYU, and the idea of living in the middle of Manhattan seems exciting. I guess I'm just jealous. I mean, I've always dreamt of living in a big city, and it's odd that I decided to go to college in a small town. I love Cornell, don't get me wrong. It's just...confusing, I guess.

On the bright side, I think I've decided that I'll be majoring in film. It's really exciting to imagine. I can feel that this is something that might just become my future.