Saturday, January 7, 2012

Rebellious thoughts.

This is crazy. 2011 is over now, so all my posts are officially now going into a completely different category. Never again will they be part of 2011. It's gone, and my 2011 number of posts will never increase again. It will forever remain the same. Bizarre.

Sorry I haven't blogged in a bit. I have 7 drafts that I partially wrote in the past week, but gave up because none of them seemed worthy enough to start off the year. In the end, all these potentially decent posts are being given up for this post, which has absolutely no point to it. Blah, whatever.

I've been doing some self-reflection and I've realized something: I hate obedience. I despise obedience. Having started work, I hate the fact that I am beneath people. I can barely stand the fact that I have bosses. I hate it. I hate how they think they can control me. I hate that I have to listen to them. It feels as if since day 1 of work I have been taken advantage of. I'm just a piece in their games (heh, get the reference?). They have the right to yell at me, and I have to take it because I otherwise have to face consequences. I need the job and the money, so I have to tolerate them. It annoys me.

They seem to forget that if my coworkers and I were to all get up and walk out, they would be left with no one. They'd have to break in new workers, hire trainers from Canada, spend tons of money and time to get people to replace us. Perhaps they should remember that. But they won't, of course.

Then there comes the issue of teachers. Who are they? What right do they have to determine whether or not I can go to the bathroom? Why do I have to ask them? Who gives them the right to decide what time I can eat lunch? They are paid to teach us, not control us like we're in a prisoner's camp. Why is it at 17 I have to have permission to go out into a hallway, whereas in college at 18 I can walk out in the middle of class with absolutely no problem? Who are you to punish me for this? I don't pay you. The government does (in public schools anyway). You are nothing to me. I come for education, not discipline. I can get that from my mother, thank you very much.

Not to mention that according to my church's doctrine, women must be obedient to their husbands. It is constantly echoed among the members and preachers, even the younger, more liberal (but still painfully conservative) generation. Women are expected to be obedient to their husbands, while husbands love and respect their wives. Obedient? What am I, the Virgin Mary? If my husband were to tell me that I couldn't pursue the profession I loved for any stupid reason, I'm expected to be obedient? Pfft, good luck finding a new wife.

The only people I really listen to are my parents, and even that is under question, considering the fact that I applied to Cornell ED without my mother's approval, fully aware that if I got accepted I would be obligated to go there. Still, they are the only people I have enough respect for to actually obey.

I'm a failure at life. I should just be an anarchist and write outrageous philosophy books that make the government nervous.


  1. Obedience doesn't have to be negative. Sure a crappy boss is a crappy boss but if you had employees you'd tell them what to do. Someone has to be in charge or no one is. Everyone is obedient to everyone in one way or another. If you're not obedient to them then they have to be obedient to you. Why is it only a one way road? Shouldn't both wives and husbands be obedient to each other? They have to or it won't work.

    Has something else happened to provoke this? Because comparing your school's lunch time to a prisoner camp is, at least in my opinion severely misdirected rebellion.

  2. Yeah, looking at my post now, my thoughts do seem a bit irrational. I suppose you could say I overreacted because this week was my first week ever working and I'm not quite used to being yelled at at all, let alone by bosses I've only known for a week. Especially yesterday, when two people I work with kept trying to make me look stupid on top of being yelled at by a very cranky boss. I suppose it's just frustration. But anyway, thanks for your thoughts. :)

  3. I was just calling you out like I would with my IRL friends. No one should be yelled at by their bosses. Your first job is a scary experience and it's too bad it sounds like a bad one. They're not all like that, some bosses are really nice. You seem like a nice person and that's why I thought this post sounded a bit strange. Hopefully things get a little better for you :)


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