Boys

There are too many of them. They scare me. All of a sudden I have a few of them circulating around me, and it makes me nervous.

Going through high school with not a single boy really interested in me (at least, from what I knew), and me not interested in anyone, this is a huge change.

I'm in a pre-relationship stage with one of them, which is essentially where we both like each other but we're too afraid to admit it because we don't want to get hurt. But sometimes we get brave and act like a couple and everyone can tell. It's super complicated. Think of Superman and how super he is. That's how super complicated it is.

Then there's another guy I met a few weeks ago, and he's ridiculously good-looking and exactly my type, but I haven't gotten the chance to get to know him better. He kind of looks like this:

(Picture I found on tumblr)

He even has a similar jacket. He visits me sometimes at my dorm's dining hall. He's a barista at my favorite coffee shop, and extremely literary. Basically, "hipster barista" without the arrogance, and a really sweet personality. My favorite pastime is seeing him hang outside the coffee shop, reading a book, even when it's cold outside. He also likes to tell me I have beautiful eyes. I'm a little bit smitten.

Basically, there are too many guys. I thought maybe I'd randomly update about that. I like finding boys that I used to dream about finding.

This has been a super-shallow post, but hey, I'm 18.

(Oh yeah, Izzy, if you're reading this, I'll do your post soon. Trust me!)

Things I'm learning this semester

• People actually like me. I'm still surprised about this. Lots of people are making an effort to be my friend, which I don't quite understand, but I love it anyway.
• It's okay to be yourself. Really. I've been opening up to people a lot more, and being my weirdly quirky self, and it leaves me happy, and others seem to like it.
• I think I might major in history in addition to film, which might not be the most productive thing in the universe but:
• Sometimes you have to learn to accept things that you can do and things that you can't do. We all have different talents and interests.
• I really, really adore music.
• I firmly believe I have one of the best jobs on campus. I come in whenever I want and leave whenever I want. They feed me leftovers. I get paid a ton of money for almost no work. My boss is a super nice grad student. The other three guys I work with are chill too. (I'm a videographer, by the way.)
• I still like boys that play in bands. A lot.
• I also like hiking. And nature. They bring a wonderful peace inside me.
• Impromptu dance parties are my favorite
• You have to be careful. Some people really do want to take advantage of you. I'm learning to be less naive. Not everyone out there is looking out for you. It's a really cynical fact, but I guess that's why it feels so great when someone does really want the best for you.
• Someone called me bubbly today. I never thought of myself in that way, but okay!
• You guys are all really wonderful people. Thank you so much for all of your support in my last post. I was so damaged by that, but honestly you guys helped in ways I can't even explain. I don't know, it just feels really good knowing that you have a support system, you know? So, a massive thanks to all of you. I mean it.

...I also really love gnomes